Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Halloween night: The Innocents

tonight is Halloween

top of my looong list of 2 films
here is the first one
a masterpiece from 1961

The Innocents

based on a Henry James novella
named The Turn of the Screw
[a download version of the book]
and with a script adapted by
William Archibald and Truman Capote

Henry James filtered for the big screen
by legendary Truman Capote
with Deborah Kerr's superb acting
and directed by Jack Clayton

this is not your common gory bloody
horror film
this is more of a psychological thriller
this films travels along that gray fine line
between the ghost world
and the darkness of human soul

apart from a wonderful darkish
black and white photography
that makes it another visually unique piece
this film is full of excellent moments
of noir literature

for more here
9'45" edit highlights of the film

and have a spooky Halloween!

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Sunday, October 28, 2007


[click on ► to hear this Sunday's sound]
Funky For You (Spacehopper Mix) - Deadbeats

Halloween nights: Suspiria

a classic American Holiday
is here
Halloween weekend!

to celebrate
i will make a list of good horror films
the 'cult' ones...

1st of the list

year 1977 and directed by Dario Argento

a color and unusual views masterpiece!
surreal colors, strange visuals and sounds
an acid trip from the late '70's

a young ballet American dancer
goes to a ballet academy
in Germany, where very strange things
happen to her

the use of color on the film is great!
and the movie is really scary
good to watch on Halloween

and the trailer

Friday, October 26, 2007


Today, October 26, 2007, 6:05:02 pm

Bart Simpson's chalkboard

fires, doctors, bad days
long days, distance
all other maladies
much better
w/ milk and cookies
and a 2-presentation
of The Simpsons!

then all
Western and Easter
thinking, beliefs, and philosophies!
re-united on
Bart Simpson's Chalkboard
"I did not see Elvis"

"Fires down, not out"

that is today's
San Diego Union-Tribune

on my way to work and back
i drive by Qualcomm Stadium
i briefly stopped and got this pictures
of the stadium last night
by now just a few hundreds of evacuees are
staying there, in tents or Motor-homes

a few tents at the parking lots

supplies and more parked cars, most of the people
are staying inside at the grades

the supplies

and as they said, some "pinche" fire facts
from this morning Oct 25, 2007
40% contained, is much better than Tuesday morning
when it was 0% contained...

the active fires are not in the city of San Diego
but in San Diego County, where there are many homes still
but the areas still in danger are fully evacuated
they think by Tuesday next week, the fires could be fully contained
but the dry season is still going on so lots of care and resources
for the burned areas are needed still

things are getting better however every day

Thursday, October 25, 2007

noche de luna llena

full moon night / Vollmondnacht

things getting better in San Diego and the Fish is fine!

there are still active fires around San Diego county
but in the city of San Diego itself there are NO active fires!

my office is open again!
and silly Bush arrived today to offer Federal help
to the affected areas

the number of evacuees at Qualcomm Stadium
has reduced from 12,000 yesterday
to just 3,000 today! many people have been allowed
to go back home, since many areas have been cleared out
from being in danger of fire

and then cute news come out of the ashes
like this woman on this morning's newspapter
who was evacuated
her house was affected, but she found alive
his son's pet fish, maybe 'cause i have a fish too
this was good news

starting to see things clearer these fiery days
in San Diego

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

these fire days

"Fire Might Spread 'All The Way To The Ocean' Unless the shrieking Santa Ana winds subside, fire crews said that they can do little more than try to wait it out and react."
from NBC San Diego page today Oct 24 2007

and today's fire map from around 11 am

San Diego's main newspaper
The San Diego Union Tribune
continues with the Cartoon tradition
'cause today more than ever
San Diegans need a bit of sense of humor
[click on images for a bigger size]

our Californian flag
the poor bear...

and yes, ironic indeed
worth mentioning that Tijuana major and
Mexican authorities, from the "other side"
of the fence have been sending firefighters
and aids to San Diego

indeed very special and unforgettable times
we are living here these days

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

500,000 San Diegans to evacuate

the newspaper this morning
October 23, 2007 said
300,000 evacuees
but by 10 pm so far
500,000 people
have been evacuated from their homes!

the major evacuation center is in Qualcomm Stadium

the situation according to evacuees and refugees is under control
so far
very few injured people or firemen
which is the most important part

but sadly the fires are still not under control!

where i live, you cannot see any of the fires
but you can smell the smoke pretty heavy and the sky is orange and smoky
here a map of the Fires around the county
from the San Diego County Emergency Web page
Oct 23, 2007 at 6 pm

the blue dot is where i live, so pretty much the fires are below and above... and well to see those acres and acres of terrain and homes burning, is just heart-breaking... many parts of the area of San Diego county are used to grow avocados, oranges, or grow livestock... many animals shelters are receiving horses, large pets, goats, birds, etc.

very sad situtation, schools are closed, and well, strange to say but sadly our offices are closed, like 1/2 San Diego offices

it seems that Thursday will be the day when things will be better with the wind so the things are expected to calm down then,

Monday, October 22, 2007

Fire in San Diego, still NOT under control

the fires in San Diego county
are still NOT under control

about 250,000 people have been asked
to leave their homes

so far so many homes have been lost
in different areas of the city

there is an official
Fire-blog from Sign0nSanDiego
for online news
and the
San Diego County Emergency Homepage

all local news TV Channels
fox 6
nbc 7/39
and all the other local channels
are just transmitting about the Fires

there are fires also in Los Angeles
and San Bernardino areas

but San Diego county is the most affected
here the areas of the city to be evacuated or possible evacuated
all the way to the Coast... very sad

still ALL offices and Schools
including major universities
are CLOSED on Tuesday
the whole city is in state of Emergency

they are asking people that has not being evacuated
like me
to stay home and keep of the roads
also the air quality is pretty bad
heavy with smoke and very dry

the main Evacuation center is
Qualcomm Stadium
that is 10 minutes from my house!

where about 10, 000 persons
are sleeping tonight!!!
there are about 19 centers open
for the evacuees to take refugee for the night

and the saddest part, the fires are not controlled yet
and the weather is not helping at all!
they expect the strong winds and temperature to come down
until Wednesday

they are asking also to keep alert during night
as the fires with the strong winds might change direction...
so i guess for a long night of coffee and knitting here...

today the sky has this strange sad
very sad orange and grayish tint
smoke and fire
it is almost surreal

just like it did 4 year ago, in 2003
when the Cedar fires happened
and we thought that was the worst fire in California ever!
just 4 years and here we go again

the infamous Santa Ana winds
very dry winds and strong winds
on an almost hurricane speed
are the main reason why the fire
is so hard to keep under control
but just
keep safe!

sunny diego on fire!

October is the fire month
but this time
seem that San Diego has been hit
by one of the worst fires in
California story

last night, I went to bed
watching on the news how 2
big fires took over San Diego County

but this morning, at 5am
i turn on the TV
and the 2 fires have become 8 fires!

the very dry and highly windy conditions
have made this fire very hard to control

so far, many areas of the East and North county
of San Diego have been evacuated

most schools and offices are closed
i went to work but they close the office around 9.30 am
so i came back home
and we all San Diegans are just waiting for
these fires to get under control

the only hope is that the weather helps
specially the winds to mellow

so far Southern California and all the San Diego
city and County have been declared in
state of emergency

the Governator is here in San Diego
and we have so far Federal support to stop
the fire, but sometimes now even all the money
or efforts can stop Nature

we can just can hope for the wind to change direction
and be ready in case of evacuation...

hopefully, things will be back to "normal"
in our city soon

Sunday, October 21, 2007

das Abendessen in Ocean Beach

1. waiting, waiting, and more waiting

2. got it!

3. now just to find the pepper... and this is going to be so good!

Saturday, October 20, 2007


my little corner of the world

this is where
from the shadows of my heart
i hide
and where the hopes of my days
rest alone

where i read
where i dream of the days to come
where sometimes i softly too cry
here is where i study and forget too

where i miss you
where i love you and think of you

this is my little corner
where besides the hopes
i keep some dusty plants
that in purple flowers shape
smile at me now & then

i have read many words here
and listened to the sound of hummingbirds
flying over my head
every day find a place to hide
in the outside

my little corner on this world
right on 34th Street
as i told you
on a muttered tired voice
on an missing-you-again lonely night

if you could one day
enter this private space
would mean
you have entered and stayed
in the most precious corner of my
heart and the garden of my soul
if you want to find out
what inside of me, is really about...

Friday, October 19, 2007


there is always a little light ON
if you look closer, if pay attention

recommended is to keep
your eyes and soul
wide open

some modest light
might come in
or out your senses

it nice when your receive the light
but sometimes even more fulfilling
is to give it...

there are lights flying all over
visual soulful frequencies
one just tune-in, smile at them softly
be humble
and catch them

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Robert Frost and I want to lick Polly Jean Harvey's legs

sure! why not?
there are many things i would like to write about tonight
but i am too tired and a bit stupid
so... why not more quotes?
i let the word to one of my favorite
quote producers
poet and respected mister Robert Frost,

he said that...

"Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence."

and that...

"A poem begins in delight and ends in wisdom."

also he thought that...

"Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired."

and he wrote this little poem and many many more

Fire And Ice

Some say the world will end in fire;
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To know that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice...

oh what a man!
what mind and heart he had

if i could have a conversation with mister Robert Frost
but he's dead since 1963, and i don't think
he'd be as excited to talk to me anyway

i would like to keep on chatting/writing

but as old Frost himself would have said...

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

and m i l e s to go...
before I sleep

miles, he wrote
and being him North-American
then mister Frost's Metric
was in non-metric system
(i wonder who would understand this very silly joke)

and what better to go with Robert Frost
than a miss PJ Harvey s
this woman rocks!!
and can you get rid of her?
that red dress!
Lick my legs I'm on fire
Lick my legs of desire

I’ll tie your legs
Keep you against my chest
Oh, you’re not rid of me
Yeah, you’re not rid of me
I’ll make you lick my injuries
I’m gonna twist your head off, see

Lick my legs I'm on fire
Lick my legs of desire

and if i were to be a gentleman
instead of a nice mexican girl ;)
to this woman i would
her 'in fire legs'
many times lick lick lick...
she rocks!
i saw her once live
at the Hollywood Palladium
one of my 1st times in Los Angeles
walking like a rock star
on golden stars all over
Hollywood Boulevard
about to see PJ Harvey

once you make it to LA
you are too a rock star!

end of Robert Frost and
Polly Jean Harvey's very lick-able legs

Ps. today i got my download for Radiohead's
In Rainbows
endlich! <-- (Wie gut ist mein Deutsch?)
i paid £2.45

Monday, October 15, 2007

(Sittin' On) The Dock of the Bay

these days have been so strange
too many strange vibrations floating around
this October air

i miss my peace
and the warm space that forms
when you hold me in your arms

and i miss those summer days
and i wish i didn't have to go the Doctor
and i wish you weren't that far
and i wish i could, with you by my side
be Sittin' On The Dock of the Bay
like mister Otis Redding sings

watching the tide roll away
Ooo just sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time
but by your side, it won't be a waste

the annual Biopsy

life has cycles
and they do turn around
the good ones, and the bad ones too

this Monday morning
the reason of my whole stress
seems revealed!
i have been having little
panic attacks
and attacks of anxiety
and loneliness the whole weekend

and i wasn't sure why all this stress in my mind
this morning
my Google calendar reminder reads:
Gynecologist at 6pm
get ready for ovary biopsy

now i know why in the back of my mind
i have been so desperate and stressed
reaching reaching

and damn if i forget...
but no wonder around these days
in October i feel so alone
insecure and depressed

in October 2005
i was diagnose with "possible"
ovarian cancer...
thank God i was OK!
and i didn't have ovarian cancer
but this condition that made me feel similar
i still have the diverticulitis
and that's why i have to eat lots of fruit
and yogurt every morning
plus fiber and vegetables

but 2 years ago
on the 3 weeks that i was not sure of having cancer
i learn a lot of things about life
i learn to say the people i love
how much i love them
and not to waste time on being mad
'cause i realized life can go just like that
the sickness i suffer
has made me a humble woman
'cause one can buy everything
except the care of a true friend
except love
and health

those things you earn
those things you can't buy

any of us could die of a sickness
or in a car accident
or just stop breathing like that!!!
life is so fragile
nobody has bought us life
and maybe that's why i insist so much!
on being close and talking to the people i love
as much as i can keep in touch

i get this trauma back on 2005
some of my friends know about it
and some don't
this blog is full
of these maladies

and on today's little fear of the day
the hospital, the cleaning products
those surgical smells
and i think

and how sad, to leave this world
being mad to the ones you love
that's why i insist to write, to call...

still, every year
as a method of precaution
I most take the infamous biopsy
cause of the maladies of this mess i created...
an ovarian and cervical cancer biopsy
is mandatory for my medical insurance
since i was diagnosed with the condition before

and the biopsy itself
is not that much painful
just a pinch, a strong one!
but the nervousness that comes around
having to wear the hospital rope
and feel the cold instruments against your body
have to relaxed your body when you are the most
anxious and stressed and this time alone
on a hospital bed, is not fun...

these days and how i feel
so desperate and having to wait for the results
about a week, hoping all is OK still
is nerve-wrecking
even if i know i will be fine
every time you take a test
there's is the chance...

it was nice to talk to my mother last night
and i still didn't remember about the appointment
not last night, i just knew something was bugging me

a bit of hospital anxiety
the surgical smells again

but life is like that
just ironic
and plays on us the strangest games
on us...
just today,
i feel more lonely and desperate
and now for a real reason

but hey! i am a big girl
if i survived the big scary thing 2 years ago
and i survived migraines almost every month
and the diverticulitis pains then...

i will walk at 6pm straight into the little hospital
alone and holding my own hand
and for 1 or 2 hours i might be stressed there
and then the cold pinch, ouch!

but then i will come home
i will wait for my 10 days for the results
in peace
i am pretty sure i am fine
i have felt desperate but the health is better
these days

but now...
to work

to complete a gray mood
there is mild gray in san diego
again today

and now the call
and changed to 8pm!
who was an biopsy at 8pm?
crazy health care provider
i got...
at least they have a web-page...

Sunday, October 14, 2007

die donut Krise

it has been a strange weekend
i felt in crisis many times
the past 2 days

out of the blue
and in the worst part of the day
when the night starts to crawl
that is when i feel the most lonely and sad

my mother called!
i told her a was a little melancholic
and little sad & blue
i did not tell her specific reasons
why i was sad
she knows i get sad no & then
and that's when i need my friends the most
so she didn't ask why
but she advised me!

she said...

daughter don't worry
you are not alone
you have your mom still
so go to the store and eat a cake
or something sweet to help your heart
feel happy again

i am 38
but i followed my mom's advice

i found a sweet pink donut
a really pink colorful one!
i thought, many colors!
if it has to cheer me up

a donut
is not a friend
and is not love
and cannot give you a hug
but tonight is all i have
a donut, and my mom
with a warm tea i will eat it
and try to sleep

and wait for a new week of work
and stuff...
for this life to go on...

again, another night
that i feel a little alone
but with a donut
might be all a little less bitter
and sugary

and sometimes
it is good to listen
the voice of your mom
that way you don't feel so desperate
so alone..


there is a helicopter outside
it flies high

the birds sing
and light blue is again the sky

it is the mid-day
outside full of life

but i am not curious of the helicopter
nor of the birds
and i don’t find comfort
not even in the beautiful sky

no sun can warm up my heart

since you have chosen silence

all seems like a gray rock

Saturday, October 13, 2007


some ghosts are elusive
they don't want to play with you
nor listen to your voice

summer kisses
winter tears

and i just wanted to tell you
that i wanted to follow you
and be with you

until the end of the world
Bis ans Ende der Welt
[click on PLAY for the song]

Summer kisses, Winter tears
That was what he gave to me
Never thought that I'd travel all alone
The trail of memories

Happy hours, lonely years
But I guess I can't complain
For I still recall the Summer sun
Through all the Winter rain

The fire of love, the fire of love
Can burn from afar
And nothing can light the dark of the night
Like a falling star
Summer kisses, Winter tears
Like the stars they fade away
Leaving me to spend my lonely nights
With dreams of yesterday

Leaving me to spend my lonely nights
With dreams of yesterday
Summer kisses, Winter tears

Friday, October 12, 2007

der Schaufelraddampfer

or English
(you were right the 1st time!)
a Paddle wheel steamer
or in Spanish
un Buque de vapor a rueda de paleta...

so what I know about Tom Sawyer
the little details
is not 'cause I have read Mark Twain
i confess myself Twain-ignorant
and what a shame!
but one day, maybe soon
I hope i can read him

anyway, i know a bit about
Tom and Huck and yes Becky
because while in Mexico i used
to watch these lovely japanese cartoons!
the Tom Sawyer adventures

the story-line was taken straight from the book
and the episodes were so funny

again the original version was in Japanese
but i watched dubbed in Spanish
a real treat!

look at the ending of every cartoon
Tom and Huck running free
following der Schaufelraddampfer
heh heh
this is the original japanese
with a lovely (even if not understandable at all)

and here the 1st episode of the series
in Spanish!
you might want to see, even without understanding
the words, one can follow the actions
that's what i love about cartoons

here Tom and Becky

and maybe my favorite Episode!
Joe el Indio
oh Joe the indian is so freightening

i hate youtube, but i love youtube too

and NO, i was not a child when i watched these cartoons on TV
i was i think 25 or 26
and up to this day
i still watch cartoons, not just Adult cartoons
like the Simpsons

but i watch children cartoons now & then
i still love Tom & Jerry and the old Spider-Man
and so many others

sure! i can be an pseudo intellectual and
get all fussy about Nietzsche and Schopenhauer
but also, i can easily on a Saturday morning
tunning into Sesame Street
and have a fun session with Kermit the frog
and for sure with mister Elmo
i am a freak but i love this guy!

oh the glory of become old
without many prejudices when it comes to sophistication

long live Tom Sawyer
writers, cartoon makers
and any other artists that fulfill
our little lives with precious moments

Thursday, October 11, 2007

coffee for tea

"None but a coward dares to boast that he has never known fear."
-Ferdinand Foch, French general

I always do the same at the office
when in the midmorning, soporific hours
to my soul, crawling...
i climb the stairs for a cup of black tea
if there's fresh-made coffee
i switch invariably...

but this is the tea collection
zu Hause ;)
so i guess, doesn't really matter

café, tea, whatever to keep my mind
awake and spirited
while these black spots on a white screen
i keep on typing

the intricate systems we humans
have created when it comes to the classification
of the drinking

ah! sabor

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

the day time broke

today my time broke
just like that

i came home after 9, 10, 12? hours
of being away and this home
of home smells no more

checked my arm time

i have never broken a watch before
is this a signal?

a stop to all calling
a start-all-over note?

a spiritual rewind


time to buy back my soul

i feel like one of paul auster characters
those that disappear and tell no families
no friends where they go...
where they hide their miseries and their songs...

cutting umbilical, and of any sort, cords
i felt his beating on my arm
still soft and still strong

maybe like my dead watch
today a new time
for a new life
i shall re-call

this time of mine
this time of no life
out of the blue,

Monday, October 08, 2007

waiting for the sky

what is it with me today ?
is it the monday's blues?
i am not sure why but
lately, i feel like him...

waiting for something to fall from the sky
some answers and direction, i guess
anything to scare away
this dullness

a gray monday today

Sunday, October 07, 2007

haruki murakami

haruki murakami
just read anything and all by him!

he's insightful
he's modern
he's cryptic

and he owned a jazz bar in Tokyo
for many years...
one of my favorite nowadays writers

ich und einen wenig Bücher

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Oktoberfest - the California version

as part of meinen Deutschstunde
ich gehe heute Abend zu Oktoberfest
the one in El Cajon, this little town
vecinity of San Diego

ich trinke Warstein Pilsener
i have this theory that if i drink
plenty of German beer
meine Deutsch will improve

but funny
'cause when i came home
i wanted another beer
and i had some Guinness Draught
those cans that have a little ball
to draft the beer nicely

so i assume Guinness improves my English
yet not my German
so i guess at the end of the day
and so much beer, i am back to
Hablar en Español

y sí despues de todo
es mejor
decir buenas noches
así, con en tu mano,
todo el corazón

Friday, October 05, 2007

T. S. Eliot

The Waste Land and other Poems


oh languages!
is not as simple as just translation

Language is just one of the many
elements that delineate a society

According to language
it is, i think, the most ancient method
to categorize human societies

we hear, we understand, we connect
action, reaction, perception

and however language is just such a little peak
to an specific civilization!
Yet, the way we all speak
Our choice of words
Reveal not just to what group we belong
But if we fine tune the ear
our words reveal
What we think
What we feel
What we dream
Who we are

your words and mine
come from different big crisol!
[der Schmelztiegel]
where like a warm soup
melts in one this vast global civilization
so different
yet all in the same space and the same time

I am lucky to have taken a look at 2 cultures by now
My mother language Spanish
and my country Mexico
And such a defined cultural influence the city
I grew in, and I consider myself lucky as well
For the all the Hispanic literature I was able to read back then
Feeding my soul with distant and magic imaginary cities
Sentiments and surreal places

And later USA
The switch of a culture, the idiosyncrasies of the North-American life
the efficiency! simplicity, the DMW rules
the vast "America"
[not the continent but as americanized Americans refer to this country country]
Their non-metric system
The date, every day, you have to learn to write it
The month goes first
Their illogical yet lovely soft pronunciation
Their short worded sentences
And their open smiles and big hearts
for a nation where guns are legal
How many details are different!
And I am so close geographically to Mexico
Yet a couple of day can pass without me speaking Spanish

Mexico and the USA we are so close
And yet, a whole world apart
and then there is the
American and English literatures
Amazing! Lucky again of have dive in there a little

And now… ah German
Wow, just a few classes and…
I am thankful for my professor
She gets into detail on those miniatures
Experiences of life
Oh how you get grades in school
There and the Autobahn rules
And the little lectures on my book
With maps and cultural “bits”
That show me more of how
The every day people is there
And many other manners of the German culture

I am sure, the next time I am there
I will be much more open and susceptible
To those little details of life
Than when I was there and understood nothing!

Lucky to be able to take a look to another
Civilization, another way of thinking
And living
How the date you write at the office
How people greet in the morning
And what they eat for breakfast
How the love and they think
And how they suffer but recover
All those events that make life so important
Not just the translation of them
But the ethics and the soul
Of another nation
If study a lot!!
This would be my 3rd language
I never valuated so deeply
To be bilingual before, as now,
When I go for the 3rd one…

my English here lately is sloppy
so i bet is my Spanish
but if focus, i know i can write them

i hope one day
i can do "el Deutsch fine-tunning"

ich möchte auf Deutsch sprechen!
und verstehen ein bisschen ein Paar deutsch Seelen

Wednesday, October 03, 2007


before—auto focus

this out of focus images
might be a visual cliché
but after many years of having just
a point & shoot camera
i really like those balls of light
i can see playing with
the manual focus (unfocused)

after—manual focus [unfocused]

bee and flower

i love their music
and her voice

"You lift the satellite and we wave goodbye..."

here another great song by them

strange but great

this strange animation
the style is unique
old-school animation
the story is weird
and the bread has a face...
und das Brot hat ein Gesicht...

Monday, October 01, 2007

arañas und Bier

am Sonntag
ich brauche Deutsch Bier
für studieren der Deutsch
(just a learning technique i am trying here)

but then i cannot concentrate
because Lady Spider keeps on
hovering over my head
oh she has dinner ready there!

ach! ich hoffe es ist Sonntag wieder!
aber es ist Montag heute (sad face)
danke für eine geniale Erfindung:
Kaffee! ah, going for another cup