i haven't knitt in at least 15 years but this weekend, out of the blue, i started again! i found some yarn in a box and the needles and just started making this scarf above i started this on saturday and it might be done tonight i was surprised that i still remember well enough
for a year i knitted a lot, i made a couple of sweaters, 2 dog's sweaters, and many many (many) scarves, those are easy & fast some gloves, but those with no fingers, just one big bag for the 4 fingers and a couple of socks, those were popular too not sure why i enjoyed it... maybe the weaver in me? it is a very mechanical yet relaxing activity, perfect while watching movies on the television
image: to decompress from computer-time at work, more computer at home, miss the colors at work...
Today was one of those days With a fine assorted display of many emotions Almost all of them at once
At work We are in the middle of a tight deadline Late working hours & stress is the dish of the day But today… in the middle of the rush One of the nicest co-workers I have and a rather interesting woman Just faint In the middle of a hallway Just like that…
The paramedics came Even the firemen And they took her amidst display of medical apparatus And men in blue & white
She’s fine now Yet… the episode was one of those That make you put on perspective Your own path of life
Mine That is My little life Is a pretty plain and uncomplicated one I have some health issues, but nothing major I have no real economic issues, although I am broke At least I don’t have a debt to pay off And my family is OK over all
I am a lonely person, even if a social one But when I was a child I spent many hours by myself and still do I don’t know much about living with anybody around and I don't know nothing about living with a man either I just lived once with a boyfriend for 7 months a long ago and was hell, but he was the problem... I know that! heh heh And I had a roommate but that’s different My dad lived with my mom and myself just until I was 7 years old So men world is a mystery to me those things the use to shave and their houses full of men stuff I have mostly lived surrounded by women all my life and everything that comes with them maybe to grow up surrounded by women made this highly emotional being that I am maybe all this romanticism comes from my world with many women and not any practical men around
And yeah maybe I just miss sometimes a couple of strong arms And a charming and protective smile of a nice man besides me Some support and nice gentle caress while saying to my ear: All will be OK But I have some hope of that, not now, for the next spring that is If things go all well & OK from now to then and if after the meeting the magic is still on, I really hope so...
So I am fine after all Yet today… The presence of death so close makes one recall The little things that might be important in life That, the first one Life itself
And I wonder if I haven’t been selfish with myself lately as all my friends say, not giving myself a chance I don’t go out much lately or enjoy myself as I did in the old days All, again, in my life seems fine yet a routine feels is settling down around me I work work work then I e-mail e-mail e-mail later i eat eat eat and take photos photos photos chat chat chat sleep sleep sleep just and all over again, week after week and yes, it feels like something is missing Not sure what… maybe it is because your strong arms are so afar? Not sure
But sadly, happiness still seem pretty glandular to be able to get a hold of The natural chemicals in my brain come and go Natural seratonin from my own brain is what I crave for Maybe exercise will bring it back Who knows?
I just don’t want to one day to die suddenly and With regrets of what I could have done And didn’t do Like spending all this time alone Writing in a computer when I could probably be talking to a real human across a table now, interesting, because I never before thought of that, but I have no intentions to just go out and do that, not right now, next spring I will, but the table I have choosen to talk is damn pretty far! That’s why I try to feed at least once a day, and that gives me some joy but the real touch, a nice strong hug, pretty far from getting now and that makes me a little sad tonight makes feel lonely which I usually don't feel since I enjoy solitude I guess not tonight.. but This little hope that has grown stronger and hopefully will be nicely feed back
Yep, still, happiness seems pretty glandular And even if content, I cannot say I am screaming of happiness Not today, and maybe not in a while
To be in love again To smile and laugh with the loved one Hasn’t happened to me in years Maybe 2007… maybe in the spring… huh?
tonight will be another strange night thinking of the co-worker and the fragility of life a thread that might be broken such a delicate matter is being alive!
but good night and good wishes of health for all my friends To accomplish whatever you look for in your life you need to be healthy and alive Don’t forget then, to breath tonight
In the meantime I do silly The silliest projects like this blog And I record silly things from TV Like this soccer narration of a guy that is as lazy as I am every morning Heh heh Here the 1st part I recorded in 3 parts so I include the links for part 2 and 3
So while we find love, friendship, and a real sense of achievement, happiness… Or at least the perfect drug to make forget those values exist (heh heh) Let’s laugh with the silly movie…
knitting
