you realize that your emotions might be playing with your lucidity*
when
you are in a chinese/korean/japanese supermarket, a big big store
and while buying some tea & snacks for the after lunch
then the indecipherable broadcast on the store’s amplifier recites sales, offers, and more! (all chinese so…)
in between offers carefully presented and distributed in amounts and percents by each aisle
(the numbers were in anglais so… )
they let play the tackiest version of john lennon’s jealous guy
it sounds straight from a jukebox, or a boy’s toy
it is at least an octave high and fast as if john had too much green tea
from the one on special on aisle 15
you remember the feelings, the words, you are about to start to let your heart melt deliquesce and cry cry
then the announcement, the sales the offers in chinese again loud & feelings interrupt
you realized you are just lost… you laugh at yourself or whatever you thought once lost
scared the feeling away while laughing, somehow melancholic but happy that you can still miss someone afar
even as eating panda-shaped cookies with bellies full of a pinkish substantial strawberry jelly
fictional as the character you thought you were in your own life
and I never believe before that one grow to become what we thought we could be
even though at my 36 I am so similar to my dreams at 12: an astronaut I wanted to be, eternally in love with the stars and an incredible man living in mars, with glasses and books, very much like harry potter and yet very far
today I am space-cadet not NASA title but hey! I can really fly high… the devoted one to, still in time in space very afar, maybe never reachable will be, but what life without dreams or great expectations would be…
poor ones those that have all that can desire and then reach, as wilde said: the illusion is the first of the pleasures my friend… now to cry with lennon again…
*(lucidity being out on vacation for so long had to be replaced by a lunatic-dreamy-fascination arising the belief that, in this world, at least half the population could be as idealistic/romantic as you…)