today at yoga we did a little Om exercise we chanted 3 really loud Oms followed by the 3 most delicate and quiet Oms we had
it was interesting how it was much easier to almost 'scream' the Oms than to chant them gently, kindly... the whole class shared the same feeling
the chanting experiment reminded me of a piece of lyrics from an old The Smitsh's song: I Know It's over i am not sure why, but a sentence from it ot stuck in my head a long time ago, 'It takes guts to be gentle and kind'
maybe 'cause i used to listen that CD endlessly, The Queen is Dead and Morrissey's lyrics/singing make each song an unforgettable piece like on this one
It's so easy to laugh It's so easy to hate It takes strength to be gentle and kind ... It's so easy to laugh It's so easy to hate It takes guts to be gentle and kind
a superb piece of some indie alternative rock philosophy? sure a very Zen and enlightened sentence full of an aloof dignity that conveys one to feel at peace, no matter what well, it does that for me
so, when i am mad sometimes and i wanna scream, or 'renegade' about life, complain to myself on one of those sulky states i sing to myself...
It's so easy to laugh It's so easy to hate It takes guts to be gentle and kind
and in my head, of course i hear Morrissey voice not mine
and tonight was not the case i was not angry, and not mad on the contrary but the chanting experiment reminded of the strength that quietness requires & maybe, next time you are mad you can sing it along too and transform the rage into forgiveness and the sadness into hope
the song is actually about a lost love a desperate broken-heart song but that's not the reason why i think of it it's only the It takes guts to be gentle and kind part, that got stuck but when i repeat it
the Oms roll quieter, smoother, and kinder like a wave done with her duty and gently retrieving to el mar
unwinding this week, for a Holiday weekend i get ready with a small beer, a pillow, and good sweet nights
so I've read the elegant and superb Yukio Mishima, the visual strangeness and symbolism of Kōbō Abe's The Kangaroo Notebook... the story of a man who sprouted radishes on his shins to later travel on his hospital bed accompanied by a vampire nurse and other surreal characters to even more surreal places yes! it is a very strange book...
but also, I've been delighted and thankful for having spent many hours entertained by the postmodernism of masterful Haruki Murakami with his collections of short stories, the Rat's appearances in A Wild Sheep Chase, and the adventures of tormented teenager Kafka and mister Nakata and his friends the cats on Kafka on the Shore
and now i finally read another famous Japanese author Kenzaburō Ōe, i read 2 short stories Teach Us to Outgrow Our Madness, and Aghwee The Sky Monster another gift from Lisa too the stories are both a mixture of reality and imagination images and sentences that leave you after reading a similar sensation to having waked up from a visually overcharged strange dream
so Ōe, what i've been reading when i arrive early to the Yoga studio, but also in my kitchen while waiting for the water to boil for tea ... these surreal visions that drip into everyday reality seem to be a common theme in modern Japanese literature along with references to the Western World reliquaries like the pork noodles in broth accompanied by a Pepsi-Cola that the fat man and his mentally challenged son Mori share in the tale of Teach Us to Outgrow Our Madness or the reference to Jimmy Stewart and his gigantic bunny character Harvey in Aghwee The Sky Monster... yet... every single Japanese author voice is radically different from the others you could not confuse even for a sentence the words of Murakami, with Abe, or Ōe even if being all so modernly Japanese...
but then after getting some e-remainders about Paul Bowles, and needing a break from Ōe, last night i decided to use Bowles as a modern-Japanese-intensity chaser...
reading my used copy of Paul Bowles Collected Stories on my little patio & chubby mourning dove hanging out on electricity cable, behind
& oh it worked!... I've read a couple of Bowles the Collected Stories a while ago, when i bought this pretty copy (i think the covers are made of Canson paper) only this time I payed more attention he sounded so much familiar than Ōe!! but of course, not only the native writing in English, that in spite of not being my first language it surely is my second... made it easier than reading the awkwardly formed sentences of Ōe being translated from Japanese but also sure helped that the landscape narrated was undoubtedly my country Mexico or a latin/mexican lost paradise in Bowles mind and the fact that the characters has names like Señora Sanchez, señora Lucha, Federico, y Roberto and said phrases like "A veces..."
Paul Bowles sounds timeless, and wise... and legendary!, like García Márquez or José Saramago those authors that read like they are writing "from above..." and yet Bowles is refreshingly more humane not sure how to explain...
magical Bowles and his "The dinning room smelled of kerosene and oranges." and his "The night was thick with eternity."
Eternity indeed mister Bowles! i say... and a sound thank you to my dear friends for their soulful recommendations of authors and the gifts of books they are like smiles for the soul
David Bowie's Ziggy Stardust is one of my favorite songs strangely is not the original song by Bowie that i favor but the cover by Bauhaus
i don't tend to like covers, but Ziggy is one of those rare songs when the cover is better than the original or so i think, so when i came across this little '45 i bought it... i do have a turntable, you know?
there was a time while i was living in Mexico City that i used to like Pearl Jam then my "densos" (hard-core) rock friends pointed some of their 'faults' to me and for one reason or another, i stopped following them but i always like Eddie Vedder's lamb-like voice meeeeh meeeh he goes, and i like it and then one day i watched Into the Wild a great film directed by Sean Penn, and etc. etc. etc since then i recovered some certain admiration for Vedder who wrote the score music and soundtrack of the film i don't think the songs are musically the best but the lyrics, the darn lyrics are really good so Vedder is a cute lamb and a poet too! also he played most of the instruments during the recording i didn't know he could play the banjo and i really like the banjo sound on this track here to match my last-week California winter shot
No Ceiling, a short yet lovely banjo song
Comes the morning When I can feel That there's nothing left to be concealed Moving on a scene surreal No, my heart will never, will never be far from here
Sure as I am breathing Sure as I'm sad I'll keep this wisdom in my flesh I leave here believing more than I had And there's a reason I'll be, a reason I'll be back
As I walk the hemisphere I got my wish to up and disappear I've been wounded, I've been healed Now for landing I've been, for landing I've been cleared
Sure as I am breathing Sure as I'm sad I'll keep this wisdom in my flesh I leave here believing more than I had This love has got no ceiling.
growing up in Mexico my required high school reading was very different from the American one, we didn't read Shakespeare, but Cervantes for example, etc. so Salinger came late into my life
i remember back in 2003, 2004, i was living very harsh times in San Diego, i was unemployed, broke, and going through a mid-life crisis, having to roommate with a dear friend in order to be able to pay the rent, but it was not only the money situation, but in general my personal life, i was angry, confused, looking for direction without even knowing it... so one day, looking for meaning and help, i went to Downtown Mental Health, i got a shrink for free and antidepressants and sleeping pills, the whole American dream, sort of speak... the place was rather depressing, i was the "happy" case of the institution, if you ever dare to step your head on a government free mental health facility, you'll see that there is mostly homeless people there, hard-core drug addicts, old people with Alzheimer, and very sad cases, but i wanted some direction, some help... and it was on those days that i read The Catcher in the Rye... couldn't think of better timing, me rebelling to the world, looking for direction, Holden rebelling to society, to adults and life... i remember reading the book outside the mental health facility while waiting for my shrink appointments.... it was delightful, full of crisis and bad moods, i was my own Holden!!!
those days are long gone, and thank God i got off those pesky antidepressants and sleeping pills earlier than hooked, i used them for barely 7 months, and i was very happy to realize i didn't need any pills to be myself... yet sadly psychiatrists and psychologists, specially the ones handling the bulk of humanity give you pills rather easily, in my case, i just needed to get over myself, exercise, find a job, and go on with my life, instead of barking at it endlessly... as i thankfully did, & surely "with a little help of my friends", thankfully...
anyway, i learned much from those days, i went through things that i didn't have to face while i was growing up in Mexico City where my mom was always there to rescue me, i wouldn't change those days... and now i only need a couple of yoga meditations, a long walk, a good song, & an occasional carrot cake (or apple pie with some hot black café or a delightful black té) to calm down & smile at life, and myself
but oh dear! how i miss sometimes the personal drama, not that i look for it anymore, but those intense feelings, even if awful, were rather deep, it was an exhausting adventure to be myself, day after day... and, overall i miss Holden, feeling so loony like him those days
rest in peace J. D. Salinger, i thank him for creating this full-of-Angst teenager, with who we can all relate, specially while questioning the crazy 'order' of society, all the strange things that happen in this world, and the rules we impose ourselves, for portraying so well those days when you really "are in trouble" and the impermanency of things, of life...
Salinger is dead, yet Holden Caulfield will forever live in the hearts of any tortured souls, teenagers like him, or old like me, out there
here a couple of my favorite Holden quotes
"What I like best is a book that's at least funny once in a while...What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though."
"Goddam money. It always ends up making you blue as hell."
"Boy, when you're dead, they really fix you up. I hope to hell when I do die somebody has sense enough to just dump me in the river or something. Anything except sticking me in a goddam cemetery. People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday, and all that crap. Who wants flowers when you're dead? Nobody."
-J. D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Holden Caulfield
i love ALL of Sonic Youth albums, yet the latest albums have been OK i think Murray Street was the last of the latest favorite albums they put out... Sonic Nurse and Rather Ripped are good, but not superb, not for my taste they are good albums, but they don't completely "rock"
The Eternal... rocks!!
to confess, since Washing Machine, i haven't been blown away by them i've been very happy that they haven't sucked and that they are still very good at what they do, in spite of the ripe age... sure they have appeared in Gilmore Girls and Gossip Girl TV shows but they have never disappointed me!! their solo projects are solo so great!
now The Eternal... is a great Sonic Youth album!! it tastes like the "old ones", even like Sister! every single song in The Eternal reminds me of why Sonic Youth were, are, and will be my freaking favorite band!! the album sounds like a lot of Sonic Youth albums, yet like none each song reminds me of a different stage on the Sonic career i feel they "consolidated" themselves in this album there are elements of Sister, entrances that remind me of Evol and angry punkness like in Confusion is Sex
The Eternal feels punk, feels trashy, yet polished trash... it's catchy trash sometimes, but still trash, noisy, and good! like a rock album should be it sounds like the good old Sonic Youth from 'back then' i mean, some hard-core fans could argument that punk shouldn't be catchy... but wasn't Diamond Sea a ballad after all??? at least the first 5 minutes of it... and then, a sea of diamond noises followed (jaime!!) Sonic Youth's best songs have always been catchy but for me, that's one of the huge accomplishments to create a song, a melody, out of those freaking noises and feed-backs it's the most structured and beautiful noise one can think of... anyway, i feel about Sonic being old and yet good as we say in Mexico: El diablo sabe más por viejo que por diablo. The devil knows more due to being old than by being the devil...
now i only regret having arrived late to the past show in January i can't wait to see them live again!... Lee Ranaldo was barely 5 steps from me ahhh i wish i was there again!! and i wish one day i could hug Steve Shelley and tell him you the best drummer in the world (that is after you Beto!!) and to Lee, that he's the last of the beat poets holding a guitar instead of a pen
little sample? Kim Gordon as punk as ever sings the opener track Sacred Trickster
since i moved to the US, back in 2001 i stayed late to see what Conan O'Brien was babbling about i learned 'funny' English and to laugh with him very late at night
Conan was one of those symbols from New York City for me and then they moved him to Los Angeles to do the Tonight Show i was somehow sad 'cause i relate Conan with NYC but it was OK, after all i don't care for Jay Leno nor for any other late shows or talk shows anyway... i am a PBS viewer, and a Turner Classics Movies fan with some dose of Law & Order SVU now & then and other silly stuff (hey!! nobody is perfect!) but from late night TV i only cared for this quirky skinny tall red-haired man who used to write for The Simpsons
and now... after getting him out of NYC they are bringing back fat simpleton Leno to the Tonight Show and leaving Conan with plenty of money but without a TV show...
am gonna miss Conan!!! and his great irreverent sense of humor tomorrow is his last show TV was bad, it just got worse...