Thursday, December 17, 2009

reposting: walk into the sea

tonight i mentioned Low, the band, again
one of my favorite bands of all times
and this lovely song
Walk into the Sea
that i posted a while ago
http://bereweber.blogspot.com/2008/05/walk-into-sea.html

tonight, again
haven't listened to it in years
and with so many things going on my life right now
busy at work, deadlines at school, end of the semester
the Holidays rush, my mom visiting and so on

on an quiet corner late at night
while my mom and my 2 cats
fast asleep are
i listen to Low...
hope you too, join me and
enjoy!






[I could walk into the sea]
And choke away the memory
Do I have to stay alive
Just to keep our dresses white?

You come to me in dreams
With all the other pretty things
You tell me about a Savior
And how the soul lives on forever

And time is just a hunger
It bleeds us out to nothing
And when it finally takes us over
I hope we’ll float away together

Yeah, time’s the great destroyer
Leaves every child a bastard
When it finally takes us over
I hope we’ll float away together



Tuesday, December 15, 2009

bweber.org

a bit disconnected from the blog
from 23, and even from my visiting mom
working on my school final project for this
semester... designing a website with
CSS positioning, no tables, no no!!

so instead of blogging
i am htmling / cssing
on bweber.org



page that one day will display
my working portfolio
in the meantime, it holds the
final assignment for the last
class of this semester...

hope i can optimize it and feed it
the actual content soon...

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Rakim

reading around
i came across Diatton's post on
Dead Can Dance
an old favorite band of mine

so i remember this song
Rakim
beautiful songs capture of souls
i was fortunate enough
to see them live in San Diego
for that 2005 tour reunion
Diatton talks about
they were s·pec·ta·cu·lar
hope you enjoy!



Favored signs to find hope
In the rounds of life
Favored rhymes to find hope
In the sands of life

Monday, December 07, 2009

windy Diego

today the weather in San Diego was nothing
like its sunny self...
with wind gusts over 55 mph
(over 80 kilometers per hour...)
and raining the whole day
not too hard
but constant rain

i don't think i have ever seen
winds so strong in my life before
only maybe on TV

18 neighborhoods lost electricity
since last night, 250 car accidents happened
southern Californians have no idea
how to drive in the rain
and even less how NOT to...
flooding all over the place
and many trees have fallen
the streets are full of palm tree fallen leaves
and it's snowing in the closer mountains

my friends the sparrows
try to hide from the wind and rain
they ate for a little some wet seeds
and then they left again
i wonder were birds hide from strong wings



and a board from the back of my house fell off!
now i know how the 3 little pigs felt
when the big bad wolf said:
"Let me in, Let me in, little pig(s)
or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in!"

the three little pigs being
Frau Kitty, Herr Gato, and me...



and for a while in the morning Herr Gato escaped
and hid under the house, the rain felt harder
and he didn't dare to come back

after 4 or 5 hours, about 2pm
the rain became milder
so he came in, soaking wet
after some good towel dry,
a can of wet food, and some pets
he went back be his lazy self...



and even if i enjoy cloudy rainy days
specially since we get so little rain around here
the winds so strong were the ones
that made the situation very scary



Frau Kitty hides under a blanket, keeping warm

Sunday, December 06, 2009

adiós a mi tío Pepe


mi tío Pepe, at my mom's garden in Autlán, December 2008

This Sunday morning my humble household
Apparently remains unchanged
The cats come & go
Beg for food, and stroll about
The birds graze around
And the mild coldish sun
Shows its beans, shy

Yet the news of death
Filter through a distant telephone line
Once again on this deadly 2009

Last night my aunt Elena who was visiting
In Guadalajara told me that my uncle Jose
Suffered a heart attack
But she was hopeful that he was to recover
I couldn’t talk to my mother, she was with him
Spending the night at the hospital

And early this morning, 6.30 am my time
The phone rang...
Complications after the heart attack
And being my uncle diabetic and in bad shape
Most of his life
This one has abandoned him all together
At once

My uncle was younger than my mother
But his life was always so hectic
That he looked older than her
I am not sure how old exactly he was
But I do know he was not yet 60
Close, but not 60 yet
57? 58?

And one thing that is a comfort for all
Family, I hope
Is that he lived an authentic rich life
Not the way most people think of a rich life
But for rich, in his peculiar ways…
He was a heavy drinker, a ‘party animal’
he really never took much care of himself
I guess he was one of those souls
Who agree with the old saying
“live free or die”
Vivre libres ou mourir

He lived for many years here in the US
In San Francisco, and then Portland
He was a truck driver most of his life
Had a great sense of humor
he was a pleasant person
with always cheerful manners
And over all a great sense of charity
I remember seeing my uncle
Getting rid of an expensive jacket once
That he has just received as a Christmas present
And handed it to a homeless drunk guy
Of course the aunt who just gave it to him
As a gift was sort of disappointed
But that was my uncle
He was never rich, yet he worked hard his whole life
And every penny he ever made
He shared with his friends
Who were never among the “good people”
He loved to surround himself with homeless people
And drink with them
Worth saying that my grandma and his sisters suffered
A big deal ‘cause of his 'free-living ways'
But then again, I am sure my uncle
Sure enjoyed his life

These photos of him and my mom
I took in December 2008 in Autlán Jalisco
Back in 2007, and because of his diabetes
My uncle almost lost a leg while living in Portland
I remember my aunt Margarita and my mother
Traveling from Mexico to a lost town in Oregon
To sort of rescue him…
The whole family thought that once my uncle
Was in Mexico, he would stop drinking and taking
Care of himself
But my uncle was still so full of life
And he sure loved to play around
To surprise of my mom and aunt
He started having an affair with the maid!
Which actually makes me smile
She is a married lady too!
So the small Mexican town was scandalized
Yet I am sure my uncle was happy
To enjoy yet again of some forbidden love
And even if I miss him now
I somehow would love to raise a glass of wine
In his name and memory
Cause even if gone now
I am quite sure mi tio Pepe
From heaven, and by his mom
Is smiling down to us
Left still on this terrene life

My grandma had 7 children
5 women and 2 men
And this is the first of these siblings
To go away
my grandma died in 2005
so i guess is better that she didn't see him die
I am sure they are together now
she always loved his so much
that other siblings were jealous of him
but also we all know
she worried so much about him and loved him so much
'cause he was indeed her 'trouble child'

And I am extremely sorry and worry
For my mother, she loved him so much too
she didn't care saying always
'my favorite brother'
And it’s the first time in her life
That she loses a brother


my mom and her beloved brother Pepe

So far this year
My mom has lost an ex-husband (my dad)
And a brother
And she endless worries over my frail
health, the damn asthma, the migraines,
my IBS…
now i worry over her too
she just recovered from pneumonia
and at age 62 is facing osteoporosis
she was supposed to arrive to Los Angeles
this Tuesday December 8
but the trip has been postponed or maybe canceled

after my infinite strolling around for years
every time i have vacation for the past 5 years
i either rush to Mexico to visit my family
or to Germany to see Thilo
so i decided mostly 'cause of health
to spend my 2 free weeks at the end of the year
here in San Diego
not jumping on a plane as soon as i get out of work
for once, and so my mom agreed to spend Christmas
here with me...
now this changes everything
and with flight prices so expensive and my horrible
health, i am not sure i can go to Mexico either

My oldest aunt, tia Marilu
Suffered a great deal this year too
With pancreatic cancer
And we all thought that being she the oldest
And with such a terrible sickness
That she would be the first one to part

But as usual, life and death
Are full of surprises
So just like that
My uncle is gone now…
and miraculously my aunt Mary
is recovering
she's such a sweet lady too

and to end

Gracias tío Pepe!
For the times you made me smile
And for showing me that sometimes
We just have to embrace the fun of life
Even if that means to be less healthy
And eventually, younger, have to die

my uncle's full name was
José de Jesús Navarro Uribe
descanse en paz
rest in peace
i am sure many friends here in the US
and in Mexico will raise a glass of wine
on his name and give him a last smile

he had 3 children
2 older men from his first marriage
and a lovely daughter from his second marriage
he didn't live with any of them
but here a picture of 2 of his grandsons
Hector and Nano, sons of his daugter Zarina
this photo from 2005
who lives close to San Diego
Hector, the older kid
the one on the back
sweetly hugging his brother
reminds me a lot of my uncle
he's restless and passionate
and with the same beautiful fair eyes

Hector and Nano, my uncle Pepe's grandsons, South Gate 2005

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

mote & migraine Wednesday

today i woke up with a bad headache
and an awful sinus pain
made it to work only to leave
a couple of hours later
after many pills (which i hate taking)
failed attempts of naps and
uncountable cups of tea
i feel a little better...

so, looking around the web
i found a Sonic Youth song/quote/post
on a German blog
and it reminded me of how much i loved this song
and how Sonic Youth was, and still is,
one of my favorite bands of all times
and how much i appreciate, specially all the songs
written and sung by Lee Ranaldo
my preferred poet of noise
so this is not migraine-curing music
but it's good to remember good old things of
one's youth, when feeling down
so here, enjoy Mote, strange video
and weird lovely noisy tunes
and some good obscure lyrics to scream to



[Lee]
When you see the spiral turning through alone
And you feel so heavy that you just can't stop it
When this sea of madness turns you into stone
Picture of your life shoots like a rocket
All the time

Put 'me' in the equation it's alright
I've seen you moving in and out of sight
My friends tell me it's all cut through you (?)
From nowhere - to nowhere
Cut together - cutting through

I'm island-bound, a mote inside my eye
I can't see you breathing as before
I am airless - a vacuum child
I can't stand to reason at your door
In this time

Put 'me' in the equation it's alright
I've seen you moving in and out of sight
My friends tell me it's all cut through you (?)
From nowhere - to nowhere
Come together

I'm down in the daytime out of sight
Comin' in from dreamland I'm on fire
I can see it's all been here before
Dream a dream that lies right at your door

When the seasons circle sideways out of turn
And words don't speak just fall across the carpet
You're just in time to watch the fires burn
It seems a crime but yr. face is bright you love it
All the time...

Sunday, November 29, 2009

al fin llueve

& it finally rains
und schließlich regnet es
al fin llueve

after over a 100 days with no rain, finally this past Saturday after Thanksgiving, we had some rain... it was wonderful to watch & to smell the wet earth, through my old kitchen window



and then
the neighbor's yard was suddenly immerse in gray nostalgia
the birds chirping was noticeably far & sparse
a lovely mood that wrapped the city in a timeless
liquid sunshine
San Diego, was for once, a city with rain

Thursday, November 26, 2009

happy Thanksgiving!



i hope you had a good Thanksgiving
mine was little, but nice

i planned to celebrate with friends on Wednesday
instead of Thursday this year, but i got sick
on Tuesday and wasn't able to go to our celebration
yet, i made the cranberry sauce and send it
they send back turkey left-overs and other goodies
also my best friend Perro baked a delicious assortment
of breads, focaccia, and this wonderful russian rye bread
and today we had some naan brad he baked too
with some of his home-made hummus



today i ate left-overs of turkey, oaxacan stuffing,
and gravy made by the conners
sweet potatoes by mione, perro's assortment of breads
some Gato Negro Chardonnay, and of course
some of my cranberry sauce...

this morning, i cooked another batch of cranberry sauce
that i plan to eat over the weekend with more turkey
on sandwiches with that russian rye bread
here a close up



this sauce is so easy to make!
you need:
-1 cup of water
-1 cup of sugar, i use the regular brown mexican sugar
-1 bag of cranberries, one of those that you see in every supermarket in the US these days, i think is 12oz. of cranberries

boil the water, add the sugar, bring to a boil again, add the cranberries and cook at medium height for about 20 minutes... more or less, let them cool, and then refrigerate until ready to serve... even with some cold turkey breast and not fresh baked turkey, you can make a pretty decent sandwich, if you like ham (which i don't much at all...) then you can try... also as jam for your toast in the morning

ah love the fall, even when in San Diego feels like the summer
80°F today? good thing that the nights are colder
after 6pm does feel like the Autumn
optimal time to write on the blog
while sipping on 2-day-old Merlot
French Market from Trader Joe's, still $2.99
the bottle and ah! so good...

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

gatito, cd design

finally been free from work for a couple of days
i thought i would be chronologicalizing the stupidity
more often but even when free, i manage to be busy
i've been designing the cd cover for my
friend's Perro album, coming soon!
as soon as he releases it to the world
i will post the graphics and of course tunes here
if perro's permissions granted...

also, kept me away from the www
this lovely kitty, homeless, who arrived
to my house, not sure when, but for a couple
of weeks, i've been getting glimpses of him
sneaking to eat the outdoor cats food
from under my neighbor's house
i suspect he was sleeping there for a little while now
i would only see him very early or very late at night
around the time the skunks take over the little yard
and while herr Gato, frau Kitty, and myself are sleeping inside



and finally last Tuesday he came closer
and became less shy
then i realized he is really young!
a 6 or 7 month old kitten
not neutered and obviously homeless
so i made friends with him
he soon became very friendly and a little wild
as the nights were turning cold in San Diego
i conditioned the laundry room, as i did long ago
with HG and FK, with a heather, and rug and a towel
and left the kitty there locked at night, with litter box
food, and water, the first night i checked on him
3 hours later after locked
i found him on his little improvised bed
purring, happy rolling belly up, and when he saw me
went happy to eat and drink more, and used the litter box
right away... this has to be the friendliest kitten and most
fast to learn, with such a relaxed attitude
not always a threat in a homeless cats
amazingly, herr Gato and frau Kitty were totally fine
with him hanging out around, unless he came into the house
and endlessly wanting to play....


Gatito sneaking under my laptop to nap

on Friday i took him to the vet
gave him vaccines and made a flyer
to find him a home, as lovely as he is
it's a burden to get yet another cat...



the veterinary and all the nurses were
in love with him, he's a gorgeous and very friendly
silver Tabby young cat

after giving away flyers, finally a girl who is
friend of a friend at school, called...

by now, mister Kitty has a home!
and i am done with my friend's CD graphics
and it's Thanksgiving!

i feel for the 1st time in 2009
free!!!

i have another 4 days to do NOTHING
before going back to work

of course, i am supposed to be designing
my website, assignment for my class
and sure, i am supposed to be doing many things
but instead, i just babble here
and plan to finish today, reading for pleasure
i am missing finishing The Awakening
that started many months ago and interrupted
and this weekend should be a reading-being lazy
for pleasure one... finally!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

the quality of mercy

"The quality of mercy is not strain'd,
It droppeth, as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath: it is twice bless'd;
It blesseth him that gives, and him that takes..."


The Merchant Of Venice Act 4, scene 1, 180–187
-William Shakespeare


and these his words
written about four hundreds years ago
make scintillate my soul
since the beauty they convey
is not only about the artistry of the English word
they are deeper,
they reach my core

if we all could be a bit merciful
then the enemies would turn into love


William Shakespeare, 1564 - 1616