another night, another tea, another song

another night
another cup of tea
another photo
another song
(an-other old time favorite track
and now it sounds a little old)
now to click on Publish Futile Post

the 81st Oscars

It was inspiring to watch the 81st Oscars ceremony last night

It was a lovely reminder of the magic that is the film industry, sure there are mainstream cheesy films made in Hollywood, sadly the bulk of them, but amongst them true pieces of art show up now & then, pieces of images, words, sounds, and music that truly change our lives…

Even though, I haven’t seen Slumdog Millionare, I was thrilled to see that the film won the Oscar for the best film, and overall I was happy for Danny Boyle getting an Oscar for best director.



[An early Danny Boyle episode in my life]
It was many years ago, while I was still living in Mexico city, 1996 or 1997 I guess, that I watched his film Trainspotting for the 1st time… I was coming out from 2 weeks of sickness, being trapped on my mother’s home under her cares, with high fever and NO books, NO TV, NO music, I had one of those viral infections that affect you when you are a child, I think was Rubeola (Measles), but me, I guess having not many kids around while growing up, got it at age 28, affecting all my system. After about 2 weeks of letarghy, when one day, I finally felt better, my mom said, knowing how much both love cinema: there’s an international sample of films on the art theater really close… still weak, I accepted her invitation, I was avid to see some movement, to listen to music, to feel again alive!! … and to my surprise the movie in turn was, yes… Trainspotting, not the most cheering or adequate experience for someone recovering, but oh if the film has been since there stuck in my mind… one of the best/worst scenes of the film was when Ewan McGregor relapsed on his old Heroin habit, “just 1 fucking hit” he says, jumping the fence, looking for the obliged fix of the night… the overdose follows, and who else, if not Danny Boyle could’ve come with such surreal scene… Ewan McGregor sinking down in a rug, about to die, being drive to a hospital by fellow junkie, in an cab, all accompanied ironically by Lou Reed’s beautiful song, It’s a Perfect Day, ironic, surreal, and ultimately sad… that was the day I started to admire the wit of mister Danny Boyle.

the video of the scene... I need to visit the Mother Superior, for one hit, one more hit...



Now, if you want to read a great review of Slumdog Millionare
the movie that gave Danny his 1st Oscar
please refer to Id It Is blog’s
http://iditis.blogspot.com/2008/12/slumdog-millionaire-metaphor-for-india.html
He/she/it has a profound and wise voice when it comes to review stuff that matters…
I haven’t figured out who ID IT actually IS,
is he a woman?
or if she is a man?
… unimportant that is ‘cause regardless he/she/it is a complete human being who writes wonderfully!

Also I was thrilled to see mister Sean Penn winning his 2nd Oscar, for his acting in Milk, now this is a film I have seen, what a delightful acting, what a superb film on the life of this activist too. Do not miss it!! You will get inspired too.

And I respect very few Hollywood big actors, but I do respect mister Penn’s social activism, who doesn’t remember his open letter to impeach Bush?… my memories to admire Sean Penn’s acting go back in time as well, his performance and the prisoner in death road on Dead Man Walking captured my heart, I have been a truly admirer of his career since…
And what a great acceptance speech:

“Thank you, thank you, thank you” he said, “You commie-homo-loving sons of a gun…” Hilarious! He also congratulated American people for having elected President “an elegant man”… and here some other rather interesting words of his speech, defending gay rights:

"For those who saw the signs of hatred as our cars drove in tonight, I think that it is a good time for those who voted for the ban against gay marriage to sit and reflect and anticipate their great shame and the shame in their grandchildren's eyes if they continue that way of support. We've got to have equal rights for everyone."



Another great feature of the Oscars this year, was the main nominees were introduced and greeted each and everyone by a former Oscar winner fellow, it was truly a parade of Oscar winning stars!

Ah, even if they were just the Oscars, and they are rather commercial, it was nice to enjoy the magic and wonder that are films and their stars…

Can’t wait to watch Slumdog Millionaire!

the Prohibition era

a gray dull Sunday morning in San Diego
dealing here with my own prohibition era

after countless efforts to eradicate migraines
i've decided to follow the endless list prohibitions of
allopaths, and homeopaths,
of nutritionists, gynecologists, and neurologists,
acupuncturists, and chiropractors
warlocks, and even fortune tellers

i am stripped down to nothing...
cutting almost every substance of my diet
that could actually bring me some pleasure

no caffeine
no black nor green tea
no aged cheeses
no red (or any color for that matter) wine
no beer
no colored sodas or drinks
no condiments
no sugar
no salt
no vasoconstrictors
no vasodilators
no hyperventilation
no hypo-zest
no uppers
no downers
no giggles...
and all mostly sounds to me like
NO fun

so what's left of myself?
i am self-confessed smiling lazy hedonist
but my almost 40 years of indulgence
seem to be paying back
with excruciating headaches

and on this dull morning
it seems that all that is left
is to follow the rules of the good humans
of those who are good with rules and hard-working
and don't like to abuse substances or
anything for that matter
back to the world of light
to the world of the clean decent humans
who keep all their lives and pictures
and memories in well-classified little boxes
and that's not me!!
i get high on my little states of mind
i am an obsessive, unordered woman and highly addicted
to coffee, and teas, and to food, oh food!
and all that could bring instant pleasure to my life
hard-work? that's for people who enjoys it and i
mostly don't...

but here today
guess growing afraid of pain
i am controlling my old self
typing instead of inhaling
drawing timid smiles instead
of open laughs

guess, i can still keep two
of my oldest vices
the music, and to photograph

and well, los libros, the books
the words of brilliant authors
that even before the lust of pleasures
have enlighten my little soul

guess, i will have to comfort myself with that
and those

guess one day,
i had to clean-up my act
picking up the mess around...

now smile!
you are in my camera
and if you don't smile
you might get sick and prohibited as well
of this pleasures of life

Greenpeace

today was a good day
today i became member of Greenpeace



of course it would've been much more interesting
and rather defiant of me
to have done it about 20 years ago
when the pro-environmental fighting was a real physical fight
and not a logged-in entry over the internet

oh! nowadays it is so easy to be a 'revolutionary' and a 'fighter'!
it just takes a lousy donation and to sign a couple of online petitions
one can be conveniently seated over one's own overweight ass
typing comfortably eating snacks while
stopping the cruelty and disdain with which we treat this beautiful planet, the amazing animals who inhabit it,
and ultimately our-stupid-selves

of course i'd love to be fighting right now the cold coasts of Alaska
in spite of this cold and cough
stopping US nuclear tests on a drafty boat
as the initials heroes did back on the early 70's

but oh well, one does what one's drive is capable of,
which is not much...

if you are interested and have a light or a heavy ass
and enjoy feeling like a hero and think you are defending
your ideas just 'cause you type a bunch of nonsense in a blog
much like me, then
you can enroll and donate money too!! and ideas, and signatures,
just click the link below
Greenpeace.com
and if by any chance you are less lazy than that
then you can actually volunteer your time and real efforts and
go physically to places where you are required and 'fight',
this beautiful planet that actually feeds you with
precious oxygen about 20,000 times per day
might just thank you back, by feeding you and letting you
still breath...

[my very short-term goals as a Greenpeace member
are to start eco-terrorizing my stupid neighbors
who cannot seem to stop littering around here
rather constructive attitude inspired by
Twilly Spree, a character on Carl Hiaasen's Sick Puppy]

Life: fragile, handle with care

It’s been a while since I write here
Life’s been throwing me moods that keep
My head aloof
My heart cold
My hands uncreative
My fingers reluctant to type

My father died this past January
A couple of days later than my fish

And somehow I don’t complain or suffer much anymore
I just hold stronger each day my warm cup of coffee
as I face another morning
Since I’ve been learning lately
that this morning could be my last

Life’s beauty reflects in its fragility
So every morning that I still breathe alive
I am thankful for another day
For the hot coffee
The warm words
And for these 2 stray cats that circa October 2008
Have been visiting the outside of my porch
And sleeping in my laundry room

The presence of the cats
And the attention they require
To be fed, to be warmed during cold rainy days, etc.
Has been keeping me busy from my own lost
train of thought
the busyness at work keeps me off thinking for 8 eights
mindless distraction but a productive one too
and when i come home, having to take care of live animals
brings out the soulful behaviors that core our hearts
compassion and respect for a fellow living creature
are best practices for one's soul, and even without trying
i cannot pretend to not care... is in my nosey nature
to get involved... with plants, animals, and people
sure! why not?
Ich bin neugierig! ja...


cats waiting at my little porch where there are plenty of birds,
hummingbirds... they know eventually i'll give them food,
pets, and their other plenty of catish demands

Life, again, beautiful
Life, again, fragile
These 2 furry creatures so dependable
On this unknown Mexican
To feed them, to cover them
And to share a pet or a smile

and today...
Good day is today!
when i finally come out of my web-shell
To share some of my stubborn words
some bad pictures, and awry notes
With my dear friends online

Hope I can keep this little blog alive
After all, one day, it might be
All, I left behind, along with your comments
and some online virtual smiles


this lovely handsome 'Blond Cat' as i call him
sort of 'felt' from the house next door
he kept on escaping from the 2nd floor window
my neighbor and myself (we take care of him)
agree that he just wasn't happy at his old home
it seem that two older boys used to play 'rough' with him
and he's better off living in the streets, or my porch
and our laundry room for that matter, he's about 2 years old
and he's one large cat!


hanging out by the electric meters is one of his favorite hobbies


the Blond Cat is very fond of heights
he rests on top of the back gate and climbs on roofs
more now than then...


hanging out at the back gate, she's really afraid of my
DSLR camera lens, as it shows here
i have to photographer with the little Canon


and she is the 'black and white kitty'
the veterinary said she's about 9 months old
she arrived to our house complex about 3 months ago
i think she escaped from a home too, since she is spayed
she and Blond Cat don't get along very well, they fight a lot
but they do sleep together in the same laundry room
and fight over who comes first for a couple of minutes into my home

[a personal note on Cats:]
I cannot adopt these cats fully
I am allergic to cats, dogs, dust, etc.
that's why I had a fish on the 1st place
the Blond Cat sleeps many times with my neighbor next door
and the black and white kitty feels the laundry room as her home
they both come in & out of my house for short periods of time
I am not sure what will be of them, but as long as I live there
I will feed them and take care of them, maybe I will find
a home for the b&w kitty and Blond Cat will stay permanently
with my neighbor... in the meantime, they keep me entertained
and away from wondering too much over life or useless thoughts
and in exchange I try to keep them fed, healthy, and warm...
sometimes people ask me why I don't name them, and I guess
it's 'cause I hope they'll find a home permanently somewhere else
maybe with a new neighbor around here... and also 'cause I didn't
really brought them here, they arrived by themselves, so they belong
to me as much as I belong to them, I imagine they call me "the crazy
mexican lady who gives us food"
and I call them the 'Blond Cat' and 'the black and white kitty'...
and we sure understand us fine! [a blink of the eye]

also sharing this our space we have the frequent
and recurrent visit of

1. these family of birds, or what i call
"kitty TV premium cable"
i've been feeding this family of birds
who live on a big bush of the house next door
for months now
every morning i place seeds, the birds come to eat
the cats have a great entertainment
they chuckle and make that noise cats make when they see birds



[also, i placed a long ago a hummingbird feeder
so hummingbirds come around here a lot
i have learned not to try to photograph them
they whoosh when they see my camera or lens
i just contemplate them and let them eat in peace...]

2. skunks, yes! a real-life Pepé Le Pew!!
i have seen this big one below for a couple of nights
my neighbor says he saw 2 of them fitting outside my door
they don't spray very often, but when they do
my porch and house stink really strong of a couple of hours
they seem like nice fellows to me, and they have never tried
to attack me, they come out very late at night and i just stay
inside my 'safe' screen door and stare...


bad quality photo, but i didn't want to get too close
to mister Le Pew and stink for a while...

3. possums, like this one below
who lived for a couple of nights
in my storage room, during the day he would sleep in the red bucket
and at nights we wondered around the patio
and fed on the cat's dry food at the laundry room
i have stopped the free-feeding though, the cats started
to show bites and sores, and there were fights almost every night
with possums or foreign cats...



San Diego has more wildlife in the city than
one could think... it is the canyons inside the city
but since I grew up in Mexico city, big buildings
an apartment girl with a small white indoors dog
so now I rather enjoy now this
'wilder' life, although it's a lot of work and concern
to try to keep up with outdoor 1/2 time pets...

this is single-song internet-radio

Herido De Sombras,
Los Zafiros

looking around old files in my computer
i came across this bossa cubana song
and this old .gif file made by my friend insky
they were together in the same webpage
and were part of a little old tradition of mine
that i called 'the internet radio'

it was before i wrote deaf words on this blog
(or is it in???)
or uploaded photos on 23,
it was a good way of sharing with my friends
the songs i like combined with my photos

so almost nightly i uploaded a selected song
accompanied by a photo taken by me recently
and e-mailed the links

so, tonight
i revived here the old little tradition
of the nightly pix & radio

oh Monday's night idle hours!
anywaysss, hoping you enjoy the little .gif
borrowed and the Zafiros cuban song
recorded in the 60's

Nota: hope to share more songs and images
to go with, follow the links for information
on the musicians and/or songs

a place to read Mishima

while being in Autlán
I was reminded of the beauty
of Yukio Mishima's literature
that fine literature that my dear friend Risa
introduced me to...

one of my mother's friend brought Mishima
to conversation, or was it me?
as were talking merrily about books
and then another of my mother's
intellectual friends lent her a copy
in Spanish of
El Pabellón de Oro

The Temple of the Golden Pavilion

even though I was reading Sick Puppy
as my main book
I couldn't resist to put my hands
and caress with my eyes all the letters
en Español escritas por uno de mis autores favoritos...

it was a delight to read for the 1st time
Mishima in Spanish
I have read Spring Snow, and his collection
of short stories
Death in Midsummer
but in English

Spanish has a special taste for me
and a cadence of words and sounds
that seem to flow better to Mishima's words

and while getting immerse in the beauty
of the landscapes and gardens described
in El Pabellón de Oro
I came to discover with my mother this wonderful
place in Zapopán, a Guadalajara municipality

The park Bosque Los Colomos
this is gigantic urban wood with
92 hectares area or 227 Acres
and in midst of those wood and other
cultural buildings
it's built an exact replica of a ceremonial
water garden in Japan
design to invite to the contemplation
and delight of the view and sound of water



what a better place to read Mishima!
i thought...

I had to leave the spanish copy of
El Pabellón de Oro back when I came back
to San Diego

it was my mother's loan, not mine after all
and i planned to finish the book here in English
yet...

being this park, 10 minutes walking distance from
our home in Guadalajara, i think i rather return
to this lovely enchanted place to finish Mishima
listening to the water play
while my eyes touching the letters in Spanish as well

Adiós to Herr Kiyo

I have been delaying
posting anything on the blog
being sort of ‘superstitious’
I didn’t want my 1st post of the year
To be a sad one

Yet, the days of 2009
Are passing like clear water
And since the sadness hasn’t
Fade away, here goes the 1st post
Even if sad

On January 2nd my beloved
Best-friend pet fish herr Kiyo
Died
I guess was a mixture of
Bad weather, his age
he being not easy to feed anymore
and maybe missing a bit
that took him away from
the land of the living

just as the character in the novel
that he was named after
the beautiful adolescent Kiyoaki
from Yukio Mishima's novel Spring Snow
Kiyo died soon in life
and in a sort of tragic way

5 days have passed
And I still go now & then
To check his water temperature
And to say hello on his bowl
Just to realize
The bowl is gone
And to remember that herr Kiyo
Was buried on January 3rd

I still catch myself at work,
When it gets too cold
Wondering if his temperature at home
Is the right one
And the next second, when I remember
He’s not around anymore
A little lump in my throat forms
And even if I don’t want to
I grow sad

Ah… oh well, I know he’s in fish heaven
Or whatever place the spirits of fishes go

I just thank life for having borrowed me
That lovely piece of red fish for a couple
Of years, so I could photographing
Spoil him, take care of him
And share some smiles

Not sure why
But just as 2008, this year
Started strange too,
February and March 2008
Where the harshest months for me
And now it seem that this January 2009
Is coming strong too
after Kiyo’s death
I contracted this awful throat infection
Days passed and I still haven’t recovered
I’d like to think that what my grandma told me once
It’s true… when a year starts bad, it’s ‘cause
You are getting the ‘bad stuff’ out of your way
So you can enjoy more later on…
2008 was indeed ‘in crescendo’
And ended with a wonderful trip to Mexico
And reconnecting with family members
Who I haven’t seen in years
Therefore, I am sure, this 2009
Will bloom with happiness for me somehow

Danke!, thank you y muchas gracias
My beloved Herr Kiyo
For many months of your lovely company
All I can give you back now
Is a sad post on this world-wide web life

2008 dying, post from Autlán, México

2008 fades
a year full of surprises
as is always life

i started the 2008 Neujahrstag
in Bielefeld, Germany

this was my Grand Canyon year
an unforgettable experience

and now i write from a mexican keyboard
finally i can reach easily the "ñ" & the accents
and even though i love my little Sandiegan life
it will be hard to leave this colorful mexican town
Autlán, Jalisco, México

and after a couple of days spent here
i realize that no matter how far i travel
the wonders of Europe, the convinience of the USA
the exotique and rich cities of the worlds
my heart belongs in México
my tongue feels so comfortable to
hablar en Español

anyways here wishing a late "Feliz Navidad"
and a wonderful 2009
to the souls who dare read here

wishing you that the kitchen of your heart
cooks wonderful dishes for your soul for you this 2009
esperando que la cocina de su corazón
cocine para ustedes los mejores platillos para su alma
para el año 2009

christmas self-giving, nothing to be frightened of

i am not done yet with
my Christmas-presents buying
for friends and family
but i have already collected
a good amount of unplanned-to-buy items
for myself, every time i try to buy
something for my family or friends
i don't seem to find anything that could fit them
but curiously enough i seem to find every time
something for myself
so i decided no more gifts for me!
these are enough, specially since i think
i am more on the naughty side this year
anyway my latests indulgences



1. a 2009 small enough to fit in my purse agenda
since 1999 i have been collecting these agendas
but in these agendas i rarely keep appointments
i take quick/random notes & impressions of the day
(not daily)

2. a calendar for my kitchen
i had a cool one for 2008 and liked the idea
of seeing it on my kitchen, those cute art deco
posters of old food items are always charming
and they work for home appointments
and to remember when not to park my car
'cause of street sweeping...

3. On Beauty, by Zadie Smith, a recommendation
of mister Insky, a fine collector of interesting music,
great photographer, and avid reader who introduced
to mister Julian Barnes, and Paul Auster, amongst many
others, rather influencing along with my best friend's dad
on American authors, American and English literature.
So when I saw one of his recommendations and having read
a bit over miss Zadie Smith, on how witty and hilarious are
her books, the wonders of her story-telling, she's been
called a modern-day Dickens, a hard-cover for $5.99
oh yeah!

4. and then ah one of my favorite authors
Julian Barnes
the 1st non-fiction book of his I am about to read
Nothing to be Frightened Of
Barnes style is ironic, clever, elegant and well,
I heard about this book a couple of months ago
but my mind got distracted and wandered
then per conversations with Herr Georg
and after reading his famous post on
Religion, Power, and Money
I remembered Barnes' latest book
so i revisited this article about the book
Dying of the Light by Garrison Keillor
in the New York Times

the idea of reading Barnes' words, ideas,
and memoirs on aging, death, faith, and religion
feels like an oasis in my cluttered mind
i am currently reading Carls Hiaasen's Sick Puppy
but i suspect that Barnes' book will be my 1st one for 2009

5. this colorful Guatemalan scarf



6. the many bears are part of some Christmas packages
I am putting together for friends, I just thought a group
photo of them would be a good memory before sending
them all to different homes



so i guess i have enough of unnecessary necessities
for myself to cover 2009
well, except for the books, i hope i will be needing
at least another couple dozen of those thru the year...