Monday, March 13, 2006

monday blues single-entrée dinner plate

detained encapsulated
a reaction a feeling a connection
and a smile
remaining persisting
on spirit
been keeping cover for a while

didn’t want air touching it
didn’t want the sun stroking it
nor the snow freezing it
between sealed fingers
with all care can have

thinking it: safe clean fine
careful! not to squeeze too hard
careful! not to let go free either
careful! half closed the hand
for a while

every every where with me went
each and every day since found
to dinners to parties to friends
to movies to the laundromat
when i took then photos
and when after, i deleted them
when i breathe deep-in
and when after, breathe down-out
when i made tea
and when after, i drank my dark cafe

the first thought in the morning
the last thought at night
it is
it was

yet like all treasures
got stolen
or it hides
nobody can give me a signal
nobody knows if it's dead or alive

maybe it just got scared of me
and ranaway and hides

the mirror reflection today
empty, again, another day
alone, empty recipients
empty, but care
empty myself, hidden the treasure
under my table, under my bed, and under my head

what if maybe was never there?
maybe just a reflection of my own care
maybe just a reflection of my own despair

maybe while elucidating it escaped
through the spaces
between the fingers
of my thought-careful-enough hands
or maybe between
the spaces of the straws of my hair

today again empty
yet i still hold it
something i want to believe is there

not sure what it is
but still heeding
staring at the space on
my two wide open empty hands

free yet alone another day

remembering what rocio told me one day:
love is for two, misery is for one
please bring me then my single painful entrée

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