re-posting: milk & sky

[intro]
came back to
type type type
again -
the stubborn
clack clack clack
& go & go, of the hands,
their tips, their ends

to write a little poem
they clumsily
attempt

but then
they've forgotten
the way

later
the white milk
trapped in the tall glass
seems to be clearly
mocking them

mmm, milk?
milk?
and poems?...

ah!
and they remember then
those deeper
and sadder
yet writer-er
days
when little poems
came easily
yes! ... those days

and instead of a poem
the tips lazily
don't write but

re-post, so then
from June 17 of the
Two Thousand and Seven
this came

milk & sky

Morning &
I’ll walk out the door of my existence
facing a bright blue sky
&
Spilled like hot milk
On a warm morning stove
minute white clouds hop around

dazzling blue cuts this sorrow
the milk melted, was your eyes

from two Sundays ago, an outdated belated post

i've been unfashionably late
always,
but it seems that so much more lately

i owe so many people [& myself]
late replies, comments, uploads,
posts, photos, outlooks, e-thoughts
and forwarded songs...
not to speak of
phone calls
and self-mind reminders

but not sure why
i got stuck in this abandoned place
that existed only before this wide world web

do you remember what you used to do
before you surfed the web?

alas! if after spending over 8 hours daily
behind one of this legendary machines
with keyboards and screens that suck,
share and shape our
attention and lives, i come home
to do the same again...

and yes, oh, i do!!
here, on a shadowy photo attempt
from not this past Sunday
but one before that one
i break the silence from this side
of the keyboard and salute
this world wide web...

here we go again!
sorry, but yes, we're late

a week in the life of a little flower

little flower on March 7th, 10.20am
[noticed the this-morning fresh-opened petals]



little flower on March 13th, 8.21 AM
[blooming in all her splendor]



little flower on March 15th, 12.36 PM
[last photo taken at the sight of her imminent death]



“To create a little flower is the labour of ages.”
-William Blake

woo-hoo!-whole wheat pancakes (from scratch) & rooibos tea

cooking has always been one of my pleasures
and therefore... eating!

these days i am cutting in a lot of pre-made food
'cause of the migraines, i am glad i like cooking
'cause most of my meals most be fresh-cooked
and free of preservatives and/or chemical additives

but i must confess i do find a peaceful pleasure
on setting myself to cook
nothing like chopping tons of veggies or
garlic on my sunny kitchen
i get 'in the zone' and disconnect from daily stresses...
if you don't cook in a rush or a dirty kitchen
then you can find real pleasure on mixing ingredients
and smelling the fragrances of fresh cooked dishes...

one thing that i have understood a while ago
is the importance of eating whole grains and also
i have always loved pancakes, who doesn't?
or 'hot-cakes' as we call them in México
but they are usually made with white flour

the pre-made mixes i've found for making
whole-wheat pancakes at the supermarket are OK
but usually the pancakes come out too thick, not fluffy
and not so tasty... also i don't use pre-mixed flours anymore
because of the preservatives and chemicals they add
it's scary to read the list of ingredients of most food
that you find in the supermarkets! lots of names of
chemicals that we don't even understand

so i took over the challenge of making the perfect
woo-hoo!-whole-wheat pancakes, and i think now i got it!
for a couple of months now, i've been 'perfecting' this recipe
i found the original recipe online for making pancakes from scratch
Charles' Pancakes from scratch
but i substituted the cup of all purpose flour with
3/4 of a cup of whole wheat flour + 1/4 of white flour

in case you want to make them at home
and i invite you to! well,
here the ingredients:

1 egg
1 cup of low fat milk
1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract
3/4 cup of whole wheat flour
1/4 cup of all purpose flour
2 teaspoons of baking powder
1/2 teaspoon of salt

optional:
1/2 cup or more of berries or any chopped fruit

now the secret to make the whole wheat pancakes
really fluffy was given to me by my friend Tina
a couple of weeks ago

First, you mix all the dry ingredients together,
that is the flours, baking powder, and salt

Then, on a separate container, you mix the wet ingredients,
the milk, the vanilla extract, and ONLY the egg yolk
you keep the egg white apart and beat it well until is
white, fluffy, and hold a stiff peak

Now you can mix the dry and wet ingredients
(do not add the egg white yet!)
mix the ingredients slightly, you don't want to beat
the batter, if the batter is a little lumpy is OK!
do not over-mix the batter or you'll get bad pancakes

and at the end, once you are ready to cook the pancakes
just then, you fold in the beaten egg white
with rest of the batter, again do not over mix!

i usually add another 1/2 or 1 cup of blackberries
or blueberries, strawberries, or chopped peaches
or bananas
(not so many bananas lately since they are a migraine trigger too!)

also, if you prepare batter and want to refrigerate
the left overs, do NOT add the fruit until you are ready to
cook another batch of pancakes

here the result, some delicious, tasty, light, and fluffy
woo-hoo! whole wheat pancakes



top with Maple Syrup, grade B, which is less processed
than grade A, and thicker, tastier, too!
it tastes almost like you are biting on a Canadian tree!
and if you didn't mix the fruit with the batter
you can always put it on top of your pancakes
delicious stuff!

also, since i've been asked to cut on caffeine
(not that i don't drink now & then a sip of coffee,
but shhhhh, don't tell my neurologist... i just drink
about a 1/4 of a cup, or little sips of black gold
when i am too tired, sleepy, or can't hold the cravings
but for me these days a sip of coffee is enough...
i haven't drink a whole cup in about 3 weeks!)

so now i've been drinking now more Rooibos tea
this tea comes from South Africa originally
it's naturally caffeine free but it doesn't taste
like an herbal infusion, the flavor is a little sweet
and nutty and it has many health benefits
give it a try too!



another sunny picture of my morning Rooibos



now enjoy some healthy snacks
or unhealthy ones if your body can afford it

la catedral de Guadalajara

The Guadalajara Cathedral

[technical data]
this photo taken with my 'little' camera
in my February trip to Guadalajara

when i can't get around carrying my alpha
my 'big camera' i take along with me this small

canon powershot SD1100 IS
digital elph

it's very small and convenient
and more now than then
takes very cool pictures!

another night, another tea, another song

another night
another cup of tea
another photo
another song
(an-other old time favorite track
and now it sounds a little old)
now to click on Publish Futile Post

the 81st Oscars

It was inspiring to watch the 81st Oscars ceremony last night

It was a lovely reminder of the magic that is the film industry, sure there are mainstream cheesy films made in Hollywood, sadly the bulk of them, but amongst them true pieces of art show up now & then, pieces of images, words, sounds, and music that truly change our lives…

Even though, I haven’t seen Slumdog Millionare, I was thrilled to see that the film won the Oscar for the best film, and overall I was happy for Danny Boyle getting an Oscar for best director.



[An early Danny Boyle episode in my life]
It was many years ago, while I was still living in Mexico city, 1996 or 1997 I guess, that I watched his film Trainspotting for the 1st time… I was coming out from 2 weeks of sickness, being trapped on my mother’s home under her cares, with high fever and NO books, NO TV, NO music, I had one of those viral infections that affect you when you are a child, I think was Rubeola (Measles), but me, I guess having not many kids around while growing up, got it at age 28, affecting all my system. After about 2 weeks of letarghy, when one day, I finally felt better, my mom said, knowing how much both love cinema: there’s an international sample of films on the art theater really close… still weak, I accepted her invitation, I was avid to see some movement, to listen to music, to feel again alive!! … and to my surprise the movie in turn was, yes… Trainspotting, not the most cheering or adequate experience for someone recovering, but oh if the film has been since there stuck in my mind… one of the best/worst scenes of the film was when Ewan McGregor relapsed on his old Heroin habit, “just 1 fucking hit” he says, jumping the fence, looking for the obliged fix of the night… the overdose follows, and who else, if not Danny Boyle could’ve come with such surreal scene… Ewan McGregor sinking down in a rug, about to die, being drive to a hospital by fellow junkie, in an cab, all accompanied ironically by Lou Reed’s beautiful song, It’s a Perfect Day, ironic, surreal, and ultimately sad… that was the day I started to admire the wit of mister Danny Boyle.

the video of the scene... I need to visit the Mother Superior, for one hit, one more hit...



Now, if you want to read a great review of Slumdog Millionare
the movie that gave Danny his 1st Oscar
please refer to Id It Is blog’s
http://iditis.blogspot.com/2008/12/slumdog-millionaire-metaphor-for-india.html
He/she/it has a profound and wise voice when it comes to review stuff that matters…
I haven’t figured out who ID IT actually IS,
is he a woman?
or if she is a man?
… unimportant that is ‘cause regardless he/she/it is a complete human being who writes wonderfully!

Also I was thrilled to see mister Sean Penn winning his 2nd Oscar, for his acting in Milk, now this is a film I have seen, what a delightful acting, what a superb film on the life of this activist too. Do not miss it!! You will get inspired too.

And I respect very few Hollywood big actors, but I do respect mister Penn’s social activism, who doesn’t remember his open letter to impeach Bush?… my memories to admire Sean Penn’s acting go back in time as well, his performance and the prisoner in death road on Dead Man Walking captured my heart, I have been a truly admirer of his career since…
And what a great acceptance speech:

“Thank you, thank you, thank you” he said, “You commie-homo-loving sons of a gun…” Hilarious! He also congratulated American people for having elected President “an elegant man”… and here some other rather interesting words of his speech, defending gay rights:

"For those who saw the signs of hatred as our cars drove in tonight, I think that it is a good time for those who voted for the ban against gay marriage to sit and reflect and anticipate their great shame and the shame in their grandchildren's eyes if they continue that way of support. We've got to have equal rights for everyone."



Another great feature of the Oscars this year, was the main nominees were introduced and greeted each and everyone by a former Oscar winner fellow, it was truly a parade of Oscar winning stars!

Ah, even if they were just the Oscars, and they are rather commercial, it was nice to enjoy the magic and wonder that are films and their stars…

Can’t wait to watch Slumdog Millionaire!

the Prohibition era

a gray dull Sunday morning in San Diego
dealing here with my own prohibition era

after countless efforts to eradicate migraines
i've decided to follow the endless list prohibitions of
allopaths, and homeopaths,
of nutritionists, gynecologists, and neurologists,
acupuncturists, and chiropractors
warlocks, and even fortune tellers

i am stripped down to nothing...
cutting almost every substance of my diet
that could actually bring me some pleasure

no caffeine
no black nor green tea
no aged cheeses
no red (or any color for that matter) wine
no beer
no colored sodas or drinks
no condiments
no sugar
no salt
no vasoconstrictors
no vasodilators
no hyperventilation
no hypo-zest
no uppers
no downers
no giggles...
and all mostly sounds to me like
NO fun

so what's left of myself?
i am self-confessed smiling lazy hedonist
but my almost 40 years of indulgence
seem to be paying back
with excruciating headaches

and on this dull morning
it seems that all that is left
is to follow the rules of the good humans
of those who are good with rules and hard-working
and don't like to abuse substances or
anything for that matter
back to the world of light
to the world of the clean decent humans
who keep all their lives and pictures
and memories in well-classified little boxes
and that's not me!!
i get high on my little states of mind
i am an obsessive, unordered woman and highly addicted
to coffee, and teas, and to food, oh food!
and all that could bring instant pleasure to my life
hard-work? that's for people who enjoys it and i
mostly don't...

but here today
guess growing afraid of pain
i am controlling my old self
typing instead of inhaling
drawing timid smiles instead
of open laughs

guess, i can still keep two
of my oldest vices
the music, and to photograph

and well, los libros, the books
the words of brilliant authors
that even before the lust of pleasures
have enlighten my little soul

guess, i will have to comfort myself with that
and those

guess one day,
i had to clean-up my act
picking up the mess around...

now smile!
you are in my camera
and if you don't smile
you might get sick and prohibited as well
of this pleasures of life

Greenpeace

today was a good day
today i became member of Greenpeace



of course it would've been much more interesting
and rather defiant of me
to have done it about 20 years ago
when the pro-environmental fighting was a real physical fight
and not a logged-in entry over the internet

oh! nowadays it is so easy to be a 'revolutionary' and a 'fighter'!
it just takes a lousy donation and to sign a couple of online petitions
one can be conveniently seated over one's own overweight ass
typing comfortably eating snacks while
stopping the cruelty and disdain with which we treat this beautiful planet, the amazing animals who inhabit it,
and ultimately our-stupid-selves

of course i'd love to be fighting right now the cold coasts of Alaska
in spite of this cold and cough
stopping US nuclear tests on a drafty boat
as the initials heroes did back on the early 70's

but oh well, one does what one's drive is capable of,
which is not much...

if you are interested and have a light or a heavy ass
and enjoy feeling like a hero and think you are defending
your ideas just 'cause you type a bunch of nonsense in a blog
much like me, then
you can enroll and donate money too!! and ideas, and signatures,
just click the link below
Greenpeace.com
and if by any chance you are less lazy than that
then you can actually volunteer your time and real efforts and
go physically to places where you are required and 'fight',
this beautiful planet that actually feeds you with
precious oxygen about 20,000 times per day
might just thank you back, by feeding you and letting you
still breath...

[my very short-term goals as a Greenpeace member
are to start eco-terrorizing my stupid neighbors
who cannot seem to stop littering around here
rather constructive attitude inspired by
Twilly Spree, a character on Carl Hiaasen's Sick Puppy]

Life: fragile, handle with care

It’s been a while since I write here
Life’s been throwing me moods that keep
My head aloof
My heart cold
My hands uncreative
My fingers reluctant to type

My father died this past January
A couple of days later than my fish

And somehow I don’t complain or suffer much anymore
I just hold stronger each day my warm cup of coffee
as I face another morning
Since I’ve been learning lately
that this morning could be my last

Life’s beauty reflects in its fragility
So every morning that I still breathe alive
I am thankful for another day
For the hot coffee
The warm words
And for these 2 stray cats that circa October 2008
Have been visiting the outside of my porch
And sleeping in my laundry room

The presence of the cats
And the attention they require
To be fed, to be warmed during cold rainy days, etc.
Has been keeping me busy from my own lost
train of thought
the busyness at work keeps me off thinking for 8 eights
mindless distraction but a productive one too
and when i come home, having to take care of live animals
brings out the soulful behaviors that core our hearts
compassion and respect for a fellow living creature
are best practices for one's soul, and even without trying
i cannot pretend to not care... is in my nosey nature
to get involved... with plants, animals, and people
sure! why not?
Ich bin neugierig! ja...


cats waiting at my little porch where there are plenty of birds,
hummingbirds... they know eventually i'll give them food,
pets, and their other plenty of catish demands

Life, again, beautiful
Life, again, fragile
These 2 furry creatures so dependable
On this unknown Mexican
To feed them, to cover them
And to share a pet or a smile

and today...
Good day is today!
when i finally come out of my web-shell
To share some of my stubborn words
some bad pictures, and awry notes
With my dear friends online

Hope I can keep this little blog alive
After all, one day, it might be
All, I left behind, along with your comments
and some online virtual smiles


this lovely handsome 'Blond Cat' as i call him
sort of 'felt' from the house next door
he kept on escaping from the 2nd floor window
my neighbor and myself (we take care of him)
agree that he just wasn't happy at his old home
it seem that two older boys used to play 'rough' with him
and he's better off living in the streets, or my porch
and our laundry room for that matter, he's about 2 years old
and he's one large cat!


hanging out by the electric meters is one of his favorite hobbies


the Blond Cat is very fond of heights
he rests on top of the back gate and climbs on roofs
more now than then...


hanging out at the back gate, she's really afraid of my
DSLR camera lens, as it shows here
i have to photographer with the little Canon


and she is the 'black and white kitty'
the veterinary said she's about 9 months old
she arrived to our house complex about 3 months ago
i think she escaped from a home too, since she is spayed
she and Blond Cat don't get along very well, they fight a lot
but they do sleep together in the same laundry room
and fight over who comes first for a couple of minutes into my home

[a personal note on Cats:]
I cannot adopt these cats fully
I am allergic to cats, dogs, dust, etc.
that's why I had a fish on the 1st place
the Blond Cat sleeps many times with my neighbor next door
and the black and white kitty feels the laundry room as her home
they both come in & out of my house for short periods of time
I am not sure what will be of them, but as long as I live there
I will feed them and take care of them, maybe I will find
a home for the b&w kitty and Blond Cat will stay permanently
with my neighbor... in the meantime, they keep me entertained
and away from wondering too much over life or useless thoughts
and in exchange I try to keep them fed, healthy, and warm...
sometimes people ask me why I don't name them, and I guess
it's 'cause I hope they'll find a home permanently somewhere else
maybe with a new neighbor around here... and also 'cause I didn't
really brought them here, they arrived by themselves, so they belong
to me as much as I belong to them, I imagine they call me "the crazy
mexican lady who gives us food"
and I call them the 'Blond Cat' and 'the black and white kitty'...
and we sure understand us fine! [a blink of the eye]

also sharing this our space we have the frequent
and recurrent visit of

1. these family of birds, or what i call
"kitty TV premium cable"
i've been feeding this family of birds
who live on a big bush of the house next door
for months now
every morning i place seeds, the birds come to eat
the cats have a great entertainment
they chuckle and make that noise cats make when they see birds



[also, i placed a long ago a hummingbird feeder
so hummingbirds come around here a lot
i have learned not to try to photograph them
they whoosh when they see my camera or lens
i just contemplate them and let them eat in peace...]

2. skunks, yes! a real-life Pepé Le Pew!!
i have seen this big one below for a couple of nights
my neighbor says he saw 2 of them fitting outside my door
they don't spray very often, but when they do
my porch and house stink really strong of a couple of hours
they seem like nice fellows to me, and they have never tried
to attack me, they come out very late at night and i just stay
inside my 'safe' screen door and stare...


bad quality photo, but i didn't want to get too close
to mister Le Pew and stink for a while...

3. possums, like this one below
who lived for a couple of nights
in my storage room, during the day he would sleep in the red bucket
and at nights we wondered around the patio
and fed on the cat's dry food at the laundry room
i have stopped the free-feeding though, the cats started
to show bites and sores, and there were fights almost every night
with possums or foreign cats...



San Diego has more wildlife in the city than
one could think... it is the canyons inside the city
but since I grew up in Mexico city, big buildings
an apartment girl with a small white indoors dog
so now I rather enjoy now this
'wilder' life, although it's a lot of work and concern
to try to keep up with outdoor 1/2 time pets...