Thursday, April 20, 2006
Sinuhe copies and pastes
many many years ago i read Sinuhe The Egyptian, a novel by Mika Waltari
today here at work and not sure why
all of a sudden Sinuhe and his descriptive walks on the arid desert
also the battlefields, came to my mind
i think i read it at least 15 years ago... never thought of it until today, right now
but while here at work i am dealing with HTML, stupid Cold Fusion and Fusebox that I don't understand
I ended doing a little process that requires a lot of simple old fashioned
COPY and PASTE
now i feel that for Sinuhe his job of walking those dusty battlefields
was as pasty and boring as my COPY/PASTE
but just his walks, not the rest of his life, no, just the dusty walks
but at least both me and Sinuhe have a job
and a job is sometimes, a lot of boring work
do i need help though? maybe just a chat with old Sinuhe would be fine
too bad i don't have Mycroft's Prose Portal to at least make an attempt...
not related but check this out pictured below, avant-garde experimental 20's precious stuff
today here at work and not sure why
all of a sudden Sinuhe and his descriptive walks on the arid desertalso the battlefields, came to my mind
i think i read it at least 15 years ago... never thought of it until today, right now
but while here at work i am dealing with HTML, stupid Cold Fusion and Fusebox that I don't understand
I ended doing a little process that requires a lot of simple old fashioned
COPY and PASTE
now i feel that for Sinuhe his job of walking those dusty battlefields
was as pasty and boring as my COPY/PASTE
but just his walks, not the rest of his life, no, just the dusty walks
but at least both me and Sinuhe have a job
and a job is sometimes, a lot of boring work
do i need help though? maybe just a chat with old Sinuhe would be fine
too bad i don't have Mycroft's Prose Portal to at least make an attempt...
not related but check this out pictured below, avant-garde experimental 20's precious stuff
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
músculos bajo plumas
y ahorita, así de la nada, me acuerdo. pero el recuerdo está parchado, como si estuviera hecho de pedacitos de tela, de la misma tela de la que se cortan las ilusiones pequeñas y los sueños que tienes cuando estas despierto.
casi atropello a un pájaro, parecía un ganso, y bastante grande, entonces tenía la presencia mas que de un ave, de un animal mas voluminoso, como un perro de cacería o una oveja. el camino que manejaba, nublado y niebla, curvas y a veces al salir de ellas, pequeñitas piedras. todavía no llovía ni estaba mojado de antes. pero en el ambiente se sentía esa fuerza extraña que invade todas las cosas, no solo las materiales sino tambien las etéreas, antes de una tormenta. oficialmente era la tarde, pero de mañana casi todavía. y siempre ha habido algo diferente, casi místico en las tormentas de mediodía, algo de contradicción, de sentimiento eclíptico con sabor a mito, y a paradoja de una muy básica teoría sobre la luminosidad ahora negada con lluvia que corresponde a un típico mediodía, y fundido con el aroma de las lágrimas de melancolía que pronto serán la lluvia misma. el ave cruzó, corría, tuve que frenar en la curva y vi como sus alas ahora cercanas se movían, contemplado por menos de un segundo como los pequeños músculos en acción se tensaban bajo las plumas de textura suave que resplandecían bajo el poco sol filtrado entre densas nubes formando un arcoiris de cientos de tonos de un mismo color café. todo tan rápido, menos de un segundo fué. nos vimos frente a frente, imagen transparente, pero no tanto con los ojos sino más bien con el sentido del sentimiento, y de alguna manera y afortunadamente las dos sabíamos que no había mas peligro, pero también la complicidad unificadora existía, que aunque mas corto que un pequeño instante o que esa mitad de un de un segundo, peligro y de muerte, lo hubo...
extraña, misteriosa, inesperada, y a veces de muchos tonos de café y entre la niebla y al mediodía, en la contradiccion de un nublado incandescente el pájaro y yo supimos, eran tanto la muerte como la vida
y si los arboles de cuyamaca retorcidos quemados hace poco, grandes fuegos forestales fueron no solo nuestra perfecta escenografía, si no también testimonios y eternos testigos de muerte pero antes, de vida
casi atropello a un pájaro, parecía un ganso, y bastante grande, entonces tenía la presencia mas que de un ave, de un animal mas voluminoso, como un perro de cacería o una oveja. el camino que manejaba, nublado y niebla, curvas y a veces al salir de ellas, pequeñitas piedras. todavía no llovía ni estaba mojado de antes. pero en el ambiente se sentía esa fuerza extraña que invade todas las cosas, no solo las materiales sino tambien las etéreas, antes de una tormenta. oficialmente era la tarde, pero de mañana casi todavía. y siempre ha habido algo diferente, casi místico en las tormentas de mediodía, algo de contradicción, de sentimiento eclíptico con sabor a mito, y a paradoja de una muy básica teoría sobre la luminosidad ahora negada con lluvia que corresponde a un típico mediodía, y fundido con el aroma de las lágrimas de melancolía que pronto serán la lluvia misma. el ave cruzó, corría, tuve que frenar en la curva y vi como sus alas ahora cercanas se movían, contemplado por menos de un segundo como los pequeños músculos en acción se tensaban bajo las plumas de textura suave que resplandecían bajo el poco sol filtrado entre densas nubes formando un arcoiris de cientos de tonos de un mismo color café. todo tan rápido, menos de un segundo fué. nos vimos frente a frente, imagen transparente, pero no tanto con los ojos sino más bien con el sentido del sentimiento, y de alguna manera y afortunadamente las dos sabíamos que no había mas peligro, pero también la complicidad unificadora existía, que aunque mas corto que un pequeño instante o que esa mitad de un de un segundo, peligro y de muerte, lo hubo...
extraña, misteriosa, inesperada, y a veces de muchos tonos de café y entre la niebla y al mediodía, en la contradiccion de un nublado incandescente el pájaro y yo supimos, eran tanto la muerte como la vida
y si los arboles de cuyamaca retorcidos quemados hace poco, grandes fuegos forestales fueron no solo nuestra perfecta escenografía, si no también testimonios y eternos testigos de muerte pero antes, de vida
Monday, April 17, 2006
nobody
we have been unnerved
we have been terrified
blood is everywhere
we have been sent in a war
we have been found
for a day
and again, lost
we have been feared
desired, and loved
forgotten? don’t know
we have been healthy
and radiant
so happy and we smiled
we have been sick
and we have felt gone
our decisions are our friends
our choices, enemies became
unknown
who is who?
some here, some long gone
hidding in the night
didn't hear the farewell
soft
the woods
omnipresence of nature
strong
primigenous custody
the city
of human
a violent proclamation
civil degradation
fight their war?
or fight your own?
can you help?
gluing out
your voice
your images
your words?
screaming to stop?
or just your ego? yourself?
is to show?
the fake peace as
of the once-a-day-charity
extended hand
i got
can you help? then?
dying in the woods
in peace, alone?
quiet and mute
undisturbing undisturbed?
letting the violence wash out
down the drain of your soul
searching every day
every night
here again we go
while a tree falls down afar
the echo collapses
into an assault a fire a gun
both dead both gone
as we didn't know since before...
yet just an instance of love
all that can save you
now and then
no art
no philosophy
no war
just a peep of unreasonable devotion
just a second of love
of any kind of any sort
------------------------------------------------------
-My name is Nobody
-Excuse me?
-My name is Xebeche. He who talks loud, saying nothing
.dead man, jim jarmusch
we have been terrified
blood is everywhere
we have been sent in a war
we have been found
for a day
and again, lost
we have been feared
desired, and loved
forgotten? don’t know
we have been healthy
and radiant
so happy and we smiled
we have been sick
and we have felt gone
our decisions are our friends
our choices, enemies became
unknown
who is who?
some here, some long gone
hidding in the night
didn't hear the farewell
soft
the woods
omnipresence of nature
strong
primigenous custody
the city
of human
a violent proclamation
civil degradation
fight their war?
or fight your own?
can you help?
gluing out
your voice
your images
your words?
screaming to stop?
or just your ego? yourself?
is to show?
the fake peace as
of the once-a-day-charity
extended hand
i got
can you help? then?
dying in the woods
in peace, alone?
quiet and mute
undisturbing undisturbed?
letting the violence wash out
down the drain of your soul
searching every day
every night
here again we go
while a tree falls down afar
the echo collapses
into an assault a fire a gun
both dead both gone
as we didn't know since before...
yet just an instance of love
all that can save you
now and then
no art
no philosophy
no war
just a peep of unreasonable devotion
just a second of love
of any kind of any sort
------------------------------------------------------
-My name is Nobody
-Excuse me?
-My name is Xebeche. He who talks loud, saying nothing
.dead man, jim jarmusch
Thursday, April 13, 2006
april 14th: my birthday mi cumpleaños
April 14th is my birthday (37 ouch!)
and it is also Tiffany's birhtday
happy birthday Tiffany!
yeah! i was born still on the glory and confusion of the 60's still
the last chance and a kabbalistic (i like this spelling better) number 1969
man on the moon (that might explain the space-cadet behavior)
woodstock, hippies and the damn whole thing
right on! no wonder why i came out like this
so for my birthday I won’t be home
(alone to
My grandma Mami Pera as I always called her
and Esperanza for the rest, didn’t talk to her until I came back,
she was upset thinking I wouldn’t come back)
as you all can imagine, I did come back
Apart from being alive (well my dad had to do with this too)
I owe my mom the sense of travel
(my dad doesn’t travel much, or at all! He just likes to seat
And do wooden things and be lazy, the wood and laziness
And the laidback and silly smiling all times I did get from
That very handsome man: my dad, yes very handsome still)
Anyway
When I became 18, I went to
Exactly on my birthday, arrived and things were staring to take shape
I started formally the little birthday tradition:
Going to a
Each year in my birthday
Never been there before
We (my cousin Juan Carlos) drove from
And ended at the MOCA and Little
And apart from stepping in Angelina-land for the first time
I did see a couple of original Warhols and Lichtensteins
I was thrilled! What else can a so-called modernist designer ask for?
Then lack of money and a stable job, that freaking long unemployment
kept me closer to home for the coming years
Yet last year I re-started the little tradition
with the amazing-most-famous-city-in the world!
La Ciudad de Nueva
I got myself a ticket to go and see M83 my favorite band of those days
I tried to visit the Guggenheim on April 14 but it was closed!
So I ended at the astonishing Metropolitan Museum of Art
Splendid and the feet so sore
At least 6 hrs by myself getting lost among art from all over the world
From all over the times from all over the minds of the masters that put together
This sometimes-lovely sometimes-terrible world of us
what could I have seen more interesting than that place?
Then from Manhattan, I called my mother in Autlan, in an emotional rush to say
Thanks for bringing me to this world, so we wept and sob on the phone
And left a similar message to my dad
Those two if it wasn’t for their attraction one day… o well…
Probably the Manhattan-Autlan telephone connection doesn’t happen very often though
and and and the Strand bookstore 18 miles of books
I didn't count them but boy it was big!
(thank you forever Mike for taking me there) wow!
El cementerio de los libros olvidados, the most delightful place in the world
for literature fiends, como yo...
(One of the most wonderful times of my 36 years, again thank you adorable host)
And the lack of money are keeping closer this year
I was expecting to be in Boston by now
Instead, I am going to Julian, California si señor!
(as Linda appropriately-enough named it)
Of a new city each year is still going ON!!!
And I am so thankful for being able to keep it
Julian is a lovely town, for what I heard
An hour drive from home
Apple pies and miner town
to Julian I am going solo, and alone
well, the little voices in the head are coming too
Ok & some books too
To a peaceful weekend
To stay at the Julian Hotel, the oldest continuously operating hotel in Southern California
As they claim, built by a former slave and his wife when gold was discovered in the San Diego area, long long ago
And I know in Julian probably the most exciting thing that could happen
Is me OD-ing in apple pies or seeing an imaginary ghost of
An old miner whispering to me ‘stop smoking, stop, you are not that young anymore’
Jean will say the same on Sunday anyway heh heh
However, I am thankful overall of being alive and of making it this old!
Considering the health issues that I have been dealing with since 2004,
so happy to make it this far!
Reading this flowing silliness
just to know I have friends to die for!
Since I have all of you and I am still freaking alive!
Unbelievable sometimes!
but please don’t stop yourself if you want to send a note
Or some presents on the mail
Or some cash
Or something so you a similar foolish e-mail next year
O happy Easter too!
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
dulce como la miel
so busy! to the point of not being able to chronologize the stupidity properly! yet among the working stress i remember, crave, and beg for a
photo taken at my home recently (good to know i still have some in the fridge waiting for me... sweet babies so thirsty)
cold beer!
ah wish i could have one of those sweet as honey red stripes
ah jamaican beer
i am not a big drinker, but sometimes i drink red wine mostly
and beer, but GOOD beer (god forbid me of ever have to drink a shitty hyper-shitty bud or bud-light rather die of thirstiness, I hate those damn things, rather have clear transparent neat water or tea or anything but a bud-freaking-weiser)
here a 33-items list of some of my favorites beers (33 like in jesuschrist age)
the ones with * indicates i find most pleasure on them
grab yourself a cold one and cheeeers!
photo taken at my home recently (good to know i still have some in the fridge waiting for me... sweet babies so thirsty)ah wish i could have one of those sweet as honey red stripes
ah jamaican beer
i am not a big drinker, but sometimes i drink red wine mostly
and beer, but GOOD beer (god forbid me of ever have to drink a shitty hyper-shitty bud or bud-light rather die of thirstiness, I hate those damn things, rather have clear transparent neat water or tea or anything but a bud-freaking-weiser)
here a 33-items list of some of my favorites beers (33 like in jesuschrist age)
the ones with * indicates i find most pleasure on them
grab yourself a cold one and cheeeers!
- Gösser
- Stella
- Amstel
- Pilsner Urquell*
- Harrar Sofi (
- Beck's
- Athenian
- Guinness*
- Harp
- Murphy’s
- Moretti* (Italian and superb)
- Asahi
- Pacifico*
- Modelo Especial
- Dos Equis*
- Heineken
- Grolsch*
- Steinlager*
- Brackie Premium
- Singha*
- Bass
- Sam Adams Cream Stout (any good Stout)
- Miller Lite
- Nimbus Oatmeal Stout* almost any Oatmeal Stout (i like my caramel-taste-like beer)
- St. Pauli Girl (the blue ones)
- Arrogant Bastards (don't take it personal! is the line of the Escondido's Stone Brewery)
- Red Stripe (wonder if it has that 'magical' jamaican ingredient and that's why i like it so much, hmmm?)
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
busy as hell/muy ocupada
but not stressed
happy not sure why
maybe 'cause i am going to el prado tonight
with at least 2 girlfriends
at el prado they have the best mojitos ever
as brian from the family guy says: MO-JI-TO!
(regardless of being a gay drink or not, gay = not that there's nothing wrong w/that! j seinfeld, heh heh [a reference of the reference inside the reference, what sucks is that they all are TV references and i don't even watch much tv] i still like mo-ji-tos a lot)
"I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life ... Procrastinating and rationalizing." -Calvin (from the ultimate philosophical guide Calvin & Hobbes) click to enlarge and read about the 'important' things in life
happy not sure why
maybe 'cause i am going to el prado tonight
with at least 2 girlfriends
at el prado they have the best mojitos ever
as brian from the family guy says: MO-JI-TO!
(regardless of being a gay drink or not, gay = not that there's nothing wrong w/that! j seinfeld, heh heh [a reference of the reference inside the reference, what sucks is that they all are TV references and i don't even watch much tv] i still like mo-ji-tos a lot)
"I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life ... Procrastinating and rationalizing." -Calvin (from the ultimate philosophical guide Calvin & Hobbes) click to enlarge and read about the 'important' things in life
Monday, April 10, 2006
triotrouble
and wrote this long ago (below the photo)
and was found today (not sure if i sent it to a friend or not)
not sure of many things but not too worried either on them
thing flowing small pieces gathering on the air
this trio below came together
morrisey the flaming lips t.s. eliot (no wonder why the train of thought)
triotrouble, at my working desk
quotidian trivial events –this commonplace
teas, stairs, photos, cafe –others, as well
recollections –of every-day
all of all –eye-recording
next step –followed to heart arrived the head
soul footage –revised
throughout reason –rounded on pain
now-and-then good to add also a pinch –of happiness
transformed and cleaned out –reality edited
dissolved by these senses –mine
required –closer recyclability
to re-play –again otra-vez
ready now –smells more of home
result
a rambled depiction –in the wake of a second, the next
since very fixated on quick fixes –lately these days
felt –since viewed
re-played –at all times
a color, those smells –right after write of them
replayed – not just once
abut of my eye
the right one –only, and first
later the left one –afterward, then
that orange however –came out not the same
lukewarm at me –one time
iced for you –as been detailed
replay replayed –at all times
fear –can overlook now
since compulsively –replayed
blessed disruption –the write-down
the scrutinize –as lungfuls-of-air
go in and go out –of my chest
bringing more colors –newer tastes, fresher smells
beeeeep –ala computer style
save this file? –no, just farewell
and was found today (not sure if i sent it to a friend or not)
not sure of many things but not too worried either on them
thing flowing small pieces gathering on the air
this trio below came together
morrisey the flaming lips t.s. eliot (no wonder why the train of thought)
triotrouble, at my working desk
quotidian trivial events –this commonplace
teas, stairs, photos, cafe –others, as well
recollections –of every-day
all of all –eye-recording
next step –followed to heart arrived the head
soul footage –revised
throughout reason –rounded on pain
now-and-then good to add also a pinch –of happiness
transformed and cleaned out –reality edited
dissolved by these senses –mine
required –closer recyclability
to re-play –again otra-vez
ready now –smells more of home
result
a rambled depiction –in the wake of a second, the next
since very fixated on quick fixes –lately these days
felt –since viewed
re-played –at all times
a color, those smells –right after write of them
replayed – not just once
abut of my eye
the right one –only, and first
later the left one –afterward, then
that orange however –came out not the same
lukewarm at me –one time
iced for you –as been detailed
replay replayed –at all times
fear –can overlook now
since compulsively –replayed
blessed disruption –the write-down
the scrutinize –as lungfuls-of-air
go in and go out –of my chest
bringing more colors –newer tastes, fresher smells
beeeeep –ala computer style
save this file? –no, just farewell
lunes, études dans le quirkyness
coming very soon... oh la cocina esta mañana
esta freaking mañana!
como explicarte? si se que no vas a entender
when i have a freaking break at this oficina
cafe now!!
esta freaking mañana!
como explicarte? si se que no vas a entender
when i have a freaking break at this oficina
cafe now!!
Sunday, April 09, 2006
sunday well well
aa just had dinner around the corner of my house
literally... since it is the same block, literally
http://www.countrykabob.com/
i had a falafel sandwich and a athene beer the greek lager beer hmm?
and a nice refreshing talk with long-time friend jeff
just a beer a sandwich and a friend
was peaceful and nice
and now waiting for the simpsons newest episode at 8
i usually go to a friend's house (perro) every sunday at night
for the new simpson's episode
a little nice tradition that at least 4 or 5 of our friends together have
tonight i am skipping the reunion since the wedding was with them
and his cats (mis nephews got me all allergic) yet jeff is one of the simpson's night member
and i am happy he made it around normal heights for the beer and falafel
i badly needed food after helping my friend miriam the whole morning
to move boxes around for the moving to florida
so sad! but happy that she is starting a new fresher phase in her life
so a quiet mellow sunday with jim o'rourke on the back
aaa alone in my little egg and liking it so much
good sunday good night ah the short list is on tonight as well
right one
some wine and candies and tea!
making a pot of ceylon tea courtesy of bob walsh at work
i almost relaxed and mellow that i almost wish i was not
'cause this dull i can't write much or at least i can't write tragically-comedy-like
so i sort of dull writer suck
for after this year of intense emotions and missing like hell and the rest
i think i deserve a peaceful quiet nice sunday
specially since my b=day is coming!!! 37 years old is not to mess around with
heh heh
me good night and good luck
literally... since it is the same block, literally
http://www.countrykabob.com/
i had a falafel sandwich and a athene beer the greek lager beer hmm?
and a nice refreshing talk with long-time friend jeff
just a beer a sandwich and a friend
was peaceful and nice
and now waiting for the simpsons newest episode at 8
i usually go to a friend's house (perro) every sunday at night
for the new simpson's episode
a little nice tradition that at least 4 or 5 of our friends together have
tonight i am skipping the reunion since the wedding was with them
and his cats (mis nephews got me all allergic) yet jeff is one of the simpson's night member
and i am happy he made it around normal heights for the beer and falafel
i badly needed food after helping my friend miriam the whole morning
to move boxes around for the moving to florida
so sad! but happy that she is starting a new fresher phase in her life
so a quiet mellow sunday with jim o'rourke on the back
aaa alone in my little egg and liking it so much
good sunday good night ah the short list is on tonight as well
right one
some wine and candies and tea!
making a pot of ceylon tea courtesy of bob walsh at work
i almost relaxed and mellow that i almost wish i was not
'cause this dull i can't write much or at least i can't write tragically-comedy-like
so i sort of dull writer suck
for after this year of intense emotions and missing like hell and the rest
i think i deserve a peaceful quiet nice sunday
specially since my b=day is coming!!! 37 years old is not to mess around with
heh heh
me good night and good luck
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