started to take a wonderful shape again
things go wrong now in my head (literally)
i finally have a wonderful man
an adorable boyfriend who loves me endlessly
even if in the other side of the world
i have a wonderful mother
that even if a little crazy and feisty
cares for me every second
my father and half sister and brother
are healthy and in touch with my again
i have a 'non-profitable' job
but that provides enough for my humble life
i have a little white house
very small but enough for me
so all has been perfect
except these (and pardon the adjective)
fucking migraines
i have suffered migraines for many years now
but lately, oh lately
there are sooo strong, and more often
of course has to do a lot with my aging
and maybe with the misuses of my body
(3 tacos for 1 peso in Mexico City subway
used to be my lunch sometimes)
and so many times i have missed sleep
over work and over fun too
yet, for the past couple of years
i have eaten relatively healthy food
i have lived a relatively healthy life-style
the doctor says: hormonal changes, stress
i say: what can i do?
i don't really feel stressed
i don't really have worries or troubles
yet
since apparently the triggers for migraines
can be so many and diverse causes
at least i am trying to rule out foods now
today i was given an "elimination" diet
by my dietitian, a very bland mixture of foods
i will follow this diet for 10 days to 2 weeks
and then i will start adding 1 different ingredient
every day and see the reaction of my body
so i can figure out the causes of these migraines
for a while i have not drank beer (which i miss and love)
i haven't drink red wine either
and every day i enjoy less and less food
so this is becoming a very sad situation
i truly hope this diet helps me identify
what is wrong with my head
so i can go back to eat normally again
here my silly diet
and my very bland dinner, ah sighs...
and some very melancholic words
as i cooked tonight my dinner
an infinite sadness took over me
the sadness of not being able
to eat what i like
the sadness of feeling my brain deteriorate
with every migraine attack
the frustration of a bad health
and the sun sets
and i wish you were here to hug you
and the sun sets
and i just hope to feel happy
to feel Allegro Vivace one again!
i truly hope i can recover from this
horrible malady and if you are reading here
and feel healthy and love
just smile and be thankful
and take care of yourself and the ones you love
'cause health is not something one can buy
nor love, nor care, i have love and care
i am just waiting to recover my health
oh the moody title
from this oldy smashing pumpkins song
and to complete my frustration
i had tickets tonight to go to Los Angeles
to see My Bloody Valentine
one of the noisiest band of all times
i am soooo mad that 'cause of Tuesdays' migraine
i am not there, believe me is not just noise
2 comments:
Hi, Bere, that sucks. How is your migraine? Oh, I know how it is like not to be able to eat what I want for a long time. That is very frustrating. Seriously frustrating. I am wondering if food is causing your migraine. Yuko told me that people who suffer from autonomic imbalance often says they don't feel stress, which is my case. Often, stress is the cause and so many things can cause it like migraine. Atopic dermatitis as well, can be caused by stresses. These two are the one I suffer from, autonomic imbalance and atopic dermatitis. But I don't' feel stress and I was telling Yuko that I don't have stress and she told me that these people tend to say that. So maybe you have stress you don't feel? So many people eat unhealthy(or unhealthier than you) and I can't believe it is the food causing your migraine. Or did you do any exercise recently? Maybe it helps. I hope you feel better. But eating healthy is definitely important for our life.
hola dear Lisa
thanks for your nice comments :)
I understand you about the no evident stress, i do feel like that many times, like i have nothing apparent to worry about but i am still worried, you know? strange! and yes, i think my migraines are also 'cause i haven't exercised much lately :( i know that too, i felt much better back when i was doing yoga, so i know i have to do that too. i am glad you have advice from Yuko, it sounds very interesting the medicine she practices. oh Lisa also, there's an acupuncture clinic right on the corner of my house, so i think i will go there too, i trust more this kind of medicine than just taking pills for the pain. Oh lisa, and yes i think i ate healthier lately but also you know i indulge myself many times :-) so i must be more careful with food, and i after all i am happy with this diet, i am not starving at all! it is so much brown rice and barley that i am full all the time, of course i crave mostly sweets at night, but then i eat a bit more of the portions of the same foods and i am fine, i think i will keep this diet (or at least closely) for a couple of days, and then i will add yogurt and other stuff. i am happy 'cause all the veggies i am not using from a can as the recipe says but i steam them, and also i am glad to stay away from perservatives and more complex foods for a while since i have belly problems too
hope you get better with your headaches too Lisa and the dermatitis too and remember, NOT to stress even when there's nothing to stress about heh eheh
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