natural insomnia

no retorts
not there tu
not me somewhere
nor the small squares
beautiful reminders/pacifiers

hectic/
not recalled

silence

afraid insecure
if invading
a simple thought
is too strong?

retreat
safer
and
distance is
longer

sent sent
no come back

a blank mind needed
not invading
not even with thinking
rather in a
way of disappearance
i feel i despair
lately

distracted was
runs fast
not idea where
or how to open a front door
some times

a link not since
have been muted
maybe something i wrote?
maybe something i thought?
and long travelled...

insomnia
insomnia

natural
read and sleep is not coming

can’t stop wondering
i hold out

a dream
an unreal
a something
can’t get a hold
of my own peace
somehow

if i could flat out tell you
yet

what to do?
not pills anymore
not fiction solutions
a natural pain

like the one
of being for some
an umbrella
on a day
that is not raining

if still breathing
unexpectedly
change it
the world

the world can
in a second
all be changed

yet afraid in my waiting
i am forgetting
i am not the only spectator
just because with me nothing changes

not mine
not again
not something
i just don’t know
how to blank-mind-it
if just...

just letters against
white screen
on a cyber space
rented

late on a lonely night
paying the price of
not sure what karmatic
error

that eats my guts
you might forget it
but i feel inundated in my own
ignorance

the damn valve closes
and believe me it is not orange

i wish i felt safe to walk late the streets
but can't even find the front door
for a starter

an umbrella
in a day
that is not raining

no wonder