a joyous note

today
thankful for
one man's invention ...
and for a dearest friend disposition & time
today was touched before my noon with magic
and
the distances seemed shorter
and my dreams tasted more real

still smiling...
----------------
and Thilo!
here are your friends
so you don't miss them
(I didn't include them in this morning's foto 'cause they are almost dry by now...)
but here they are from the days when they were full blooming!
the first Thilo Sonnenblume...

and the next 2 smaller ones...


the last one to bloom was a little lazy and first just opened 1/2 of the petals, the next day was complete...

sun & rain, early san diego

san diego 9.30 this morning
it is a little sunny
but it is also raining

i like it when that unusual combo happens

monk

after a long week
what's left for me is time of guilty pleasure
some mindless tv
with one of the few tv shows i enjoy

monk!
maybe because watching an obsessive compulsive detective
makes me feel a little more normal
and it's a funny show

yes, panic attack and pizza

and a beer (new castle so it was good while it lasted)
and frustration
and i feel like a quirky old woman
and i am one!
and neurotic!
and every day seems harder
to socialize with live people
or with people

and people think i am nice
and i am simple
and i just wish many days
many nights
that i could disappear from my own existence

i had 2 cats once
but i changed countries
i had a dog once but she died

i had 2 beta fishes, same luck
now i am allergic to most pets
and to most company
as tonight has been felt

i just can't stop thinking of that
conversation with alex & lisa...

if humans (me included) could be less self-centered
and more educated, not educated as much as in "knowledge"
but in the kind of knowledge that teachs you how to be respectul
and tolerant, that kind of education

so as i resumed on the drunk conversation
the biggest problems of humanity:
ignorance and too much self-importance

some nights like tonight
i wish i could live alone in the woods
no escaping

stressed? no!
just freaking pure human crazy frustration
a diary of a miss-communication
or too much writing?
i wish i could get rid of this feeling
not sure where it came from...

Myself not that tonight well and it is always better when the only ones speaking are the buildings

and yes guess order word altering message
sorry if it is bad written
mechanical and in a hurry and:
the head state
bit or much of anxiety

the work, not done
i can't concentrate at work
for personal reason, for time accessibility
then i come home and think of work
what's due in soon
and the damn catalog

then the possibilities
and the ideas & my life and messages
and my own self always so unfinished
and not a symphony, precisly

i have always had trouble with time'


there is never enough of it
i am too slow
in some stuff
too fast in some other
times comes fast times goes slow
no
the opposite

strange
gotta walk now thursday 7.30pm
to a close restaurant
to meet the recently 'fired' from work co-worker

i guess the expectation of the meeting
talking work and unemployment
dark old days reminders
of my own self-injustice (to self)
helps with this mood
stress ful
and of course the distance...

the "not-sure if we are talking about the same" sensation

just hope and enough of speculation
i miss you and that's just fucking frustration
oh so well for the blog swearing
a relief of stress -comes like a 'modern' declamation

tonight
walk
unemployment
blank stares
walk back -relief yet colder

i have never been good at guessing situations
or neither to portray instances too complicated

i guess because age and language personal have-to-if-live-here-want-to transformation
has thought me boldness that comes as...
another declamation?

i better walk now

as usual i am late
i have calculated
in 2001 i was 4hrs late general/average in my life

today comes to around 1.5 hrs late
tonight i will just be late to see susan, 15 minutes?
the life of a flake... progressing
ha!

tonight sounds like i might have a
panik attack]
and then
some pizza...
haven't been such a typical thursday in san diego
since 2003...

¿y para qué?

la pregunta que ha inspirado
a la vez que decepcionado...
tanto a filósofos como a científicos
pero que al parecer,
nunca se pregunta entre amantes

de la naturaleza de la vida
y sus human-made divisiones

noche letárgica
y esta sensación
que no es fresca
pero tampoco obscena

last october: hardwood and asthma

the cracks in the sound of the wood of this floor
my feet have posed
them sounded
reminded
a step
a step, then alive

(more than my breathing)
gasp-for-some-air
has not been
(out of sadness)
that loud

they crack at the heat
cracked out of cold

revise
not dead yet
not a requisite

still alive
tranquil

as I wish
it was
the tempest
in my hum
this night

kraftwerk

kraftwerk as September of 1975
the earlier stages of their machine music
autobahn (for those restless German drivers)
watch this great and very informative cool little video



I have been a Kraftwerk fan for over 10 years since the early 90's
so it was a full-filled dream to see them at the Hollywood Bowl last year
they were a neat piece of machinery music
the graphics, videos and visual experiments they projected on giant screens
were stunning, it was all visual perfection
songs like Tour de France and Numbers were unforgettable pieces of performance
not to mention Robots, (i highly recommend this link) that where 4 robots replaceing the members of the band
And as the band recall themselves: "Sometimes after the concerts people come backstage more to see the 4 robots than ourselves..."

here as I saw them in 2005 at the Hollywood Bowl in L.A.
as you can see, they did dropped the keyboards and created a new genre
they are the Godfathers of Electronic music, indeed
let's see if you resist to dance to their
Perception Mechanic...
Aero---dynamik...



I think my favorite Kraftwerk song is Spacelab from The Man Machine

a shame!

blogger is blocked at work!!!

after playing for a while with our web-sense
and going from disappointment to surprises
the set of which pages are restricted at my desk
it seems to be define by now...

23 is Gracias-a-Dios accessible, actually it is the site I would miss the most if restricted
I go there now & then just to take refugee from the other uglier digital world

my web-mails are open and working
and strangely but happily the foreigner blogs that doesn't belong to blogger
are open (smile)

saturday

it was a bit after 5pm today
and
i was in the verge of napping
sun over my head
when that distinct feeling of being observed
wake me up

listened to the humming of a bird...
there was a Kolibri right on top of my head
very close
staring at me

i couldn't fall asleep anymore
but felt in agreeable company since then
as when you have received the visit of a dear friend